is she insane?

you know thats a sign of your own lack of courage? you are so scared deep down that you fly into denial. seek the easiest way to both deny me and ignore me. 'oh she's mad'.

yes i can crack up. but according to the 'authorities' you run to ; well there is no such thing as god. or spirits. or morality [its all culture.] and ALL religionists are crazy. there is niether heaven nor hell. nor other realms. and only savages believe in magic. the only real maggicians being those idiots on telly doing tricks with a camera. oh and myths are only fairytales; which are lies. oh yes of course; and you don't really exist either; being just an illusion made by your all-important brain. now vote here and give me all your money. generally thats what your keepers of 'truth' say. isn't it?

you look carefully at your keepers. they are some of the nastiest people on earth. that is one thing.
the second is this; you are defying the actual experience not just of your saints and visionaries but of millions and millions of your fellows throughout the ages. in fact all you ever had to do to find out whether its true is not join this religion or that but practise whatever yoga or prayer is easiest for you to one aim; only one. that of remembering your past. and you wwill find at first only recall of bad experiences. then bad deeds. then selfknowledge; your own faults in will. then your last life. then more. then more. you begin to be overwhelmed; there are too many. thats because you are now sharing the memory of others. finally you will recall something of spiritlife; what you are and where you are and all that nastiness IN BETWEEN LIVES. then concentrate on that. then you will know as i know how terrible it is out there. and try to stop about there. too much and you will die. i haven't because the gods hold me. there. you can do it if you have energy and courage in under 5 years. and you don't have to believe in god; only yourself. if you can't believe in your own existence then brother stop living. go away. you are a monkey; stay happy dirty and nothing. but go someplace else?

as for me yes the psychiatrists got to me early. i let them. even sought them out. at the age of ten. because i needed help with my jailor mother; who is an abuser too; though of a lesser kind. i couldn't stand school. i thought they seemed kind. you understand i never see much kindness? so i headed for them. but of course these people are more lost than you! i remember i saw a letter from my psychiatrist when i was 19. now i loved this bloke. he wrote; 'she is completely insane and will remain so. there seems to be no explanation'. he was writing to a possible employer!!

so a psychiatrist believes as i have depicted above. on no evidence or experoience whatever. its 'science'. but science originally was it not the pursuit of truth? what happened to that? because now its all about money and hating even the concept of 'god'....yes. HATRED. not exactly sane, nor truthful. is it? and kind? look what he did, knowing nobody would employ someone like that...in fact psychiatrists doctors social workers; nasty people. spend their time exercising their opinions to destroy families. children. the sick too. you go to them because they seem kind, offer help? and they will ruin your entire life.

as for being insane and no cause; here its all spelt out the cause. he only had to ask but never did. male doctors only want young personable female patients to talk about sex. ad nauseam, in fact. because it turns them on; wankers like all the rest. so they solemnly opine all these delusions are due to sexual perversion. and this naturally turns the converse to sex, and so the problem which is about good and evil is ignored lest it spoil their wank. yet you trust them,. and let them lead you by the nose to the bank. if only you people really knew doctors!! they are all about money. nothing else. status and money. really they are lowlife trash; even murderers. true. a lot of nurses too.

but even supposing a lot of it is illness....well i married. 15 years. who ruined that? my husband did. brought up my slightly strange daughter. ask her who hurt her childhood. and she will tell you her father, the school, her unwanted pregnancies, lots of things. but not me.
i have worked; at first not very successfully; all my life. i am honest. i have never been in prison. i have never begged nor stolen or sold my body. i disd try drugs in my youth. but it made me ill. i don't drink; although the other day i did. i am no streetfighter. i neither scream nor shout. my grandsons various weaknesses seem to do with either a toxin in the envirionment or birth things. they all 3 love and depend on me. i am promised also to come to the rescue of my brothers six children if they need help; and to try to provide for them too; since he is dead. i am pleasant and talk sensibly and am reasonably nice to know. i am a psychiatric nurse; my patients like me and usually improve somewhat.

right? where in all that is this 'insanity'...? its not there, is it? as for the religionists they are not wrong in their faith that there is another state. only they are wrong never to explore it or get their memory back. so they stuck in religions which look good but in fact do evil. and i say so. they reading this shall discover hatred and murder in their heasrts; my proof to them that i lie not. they are being made evil by these same religions. so because it is my last life i tell all i know so someone somewhere can put right all i did wrong. and destroy that vicious man. is it insane? well however hard you try you will die. and find out. but do these things now. and then you won't find out too late?

whoever learns of me and finds safe harbour in this way; he is saved. but remember. you go out there to remover all false law to find the real gods and help them to heal. bring the good laws and the good lords and the wise ladies back again. your aim and mission is that; even if you have to look a bit devilly at first to do it.

suck and see. ask satan and yetzoah who has forgiven them since they had no more choice than i did; and now they can tell you they are forgiven because i did that the other day. its gay i have damned and not them. go find each other. and know you are also forgiven. well what else can i do? its all been down to me! just remember its gay who invented damnation. hates forgiveness. now you see which one is mad?

don't call me mad again. please.