wiping them out will be so cool.

yes i have been thinking of what it all means. and have worked out what to do. get back up to my original estate; but now full-grown, angry. wise? yes. kill them all who live. they don't have any real existence on their own. have never helped me in any way. the sheep adore the monster who destroys them the wolves exactly the same. i hate them all. and here what are they? brainless trash who everywhere are nasty to anyone weaker than they. always me. enough. i started my effort to wipe them all out of existence today. they are all parasites on me; yet weren't clever enough to give me pleasant lives, nice things. i have recalled everything. that makes me god again; as i was. whether grown or just somehow there they all have used me. and i can see where and to whaty all are going. since i am the only good and all they can ever get is more and more suffering forever, i do my duty by us all. wipe them all out. live with me's only and after a very long time maybe call out again those who have earned freedom. citizenship. by hatred of cruelty. its the only mark i will ever accept. i loved all of you once. never again. a child would not understand in the beginning. it was all a cheat. the evil wanted to have a god who would make all good and pleasant. but also be used as a weapon. as you see i was suckered into everything or forced. now ALL of you are monsters. so die and be not. so gay has had me in terrible hells all this time. those who saw didn't care. at bottom he hoped for all time to either rule all and make every living thing be suffering in hell. or if found out he would still have had me; torturing me and murdering me over and over for all time. because i was good. and nobody at any time worked it out? i don't believe that. so you all know and are his willing creatures. yes insects. and how happy are they? well soon you will be able to ask them.

so firstly i thank the king. as he judged me all corruptly now i judge him all true and straight. and damn him not. but his fate is terrible just the same. you can all thank him too.

perhaps its time now to describe exactly the kings doings. and what i see is to become of it.

well i don't know when but i found myself walking in some lonely place of spirits. i knew nothing. satan approached me with a strange man; a fairer man in those days. i was scared but kept quiet. as a brightsider i had no power even to argue for fair treatment. this man stuck a black thing like a grapnel into my stomach. they laughed saying i would know what it did soon. enslave me i knew right off. he said if i got out of it the second one would be worse. then they walked off laughing at my pain. and that is the first time i ever met the king.

the second time must have been r2, because a friend called humphries must have asked me to his flat. he had just come to work at westmoor. i knew he was into witchcraft but not how deep. anyway i loved this friend. so i went. he told me a friend was staying with him who was rto be very important to me; his naame brent spiner. a famous actor he said. but don't talk about spiders. i said i would never remember such a weird name. anyhow he introduced us. this brent spiner then had brown hair but i know we must have been in r2 because his eyes were white.

anyway he was very snotty and stand-offish but not because i wasn't rich but because he saw me as an enemy. so i guess i knew he was a dark; but somehow it didn't matter. he managed to get lost downstairs. three times i went looking for him. then he walked out of his room, so the whole thing was a test. and when he tried to turn the talk to spiders i resisted. anyhow he said he would come to give me a chance? i said he might find some surprises. when i went to sleep it must have been forced because he stood over me and noticed my resistance. but then i dreamed of the attic. he walked me back to my bed; plainly and obviously aware he was with an angel or similar, yet no kindness in him. he did say however that my mental state was abnormal. of course it was. he'd just done to me what gay did; threaten me with salvation as bad or worse than the other thing!

in the morning steve showed me his car. big siver job; reg omg? oh my god i joked. steve told me to make a phone call to where he worked by a certain time or be lost. they make these rules in r2/3 bknowing people forget as soon as they back in r1. but i remembered altho gay tried to block me i did it. so i knew he would return.

months later of course it had all gone from my head. i was working upstairs in westmoor. and i knew he was there. went down. sat on a coffeetable. same man walks i from the garden. and i, not he, lifted us all into r3. he said 'ahem. can you come?' i looked askance. ahem he goes, can you er come'? so i realised this mindless git was asking me if i was able in bed. yes, i said, bloody great long ones. whats it to you?

in the ensuing conversation i told him to be my lover; but that to get all he wanted he must ask for something greater. i remember we had a game of increasing sizes. he was shocked i was better than he. i said; i'm a good god. you shall not o'ercrow me, nor i you. little did i guess the full extent of his perfidy. he was not coming to give me either justice or evil salvation but only to desytroy. to be properly damned i suppose. so gay raped dharma. mary. jesus. muedered my spirit.. caused me to slay the poor eagles. and this witless wonder must have found i was the good; and so i must be ruined and annoyed. for his own salvation. anyway he went off promising to be back. i told him he would get nothing of the passion we agreed on until my teeth were fixed. and now never at all. since he didn't really want that anyway. i remember i said to him; i will give you your hearts desire. but you will be surprised at it. anyway off he went. back we all to r1...io didn't remember long. i don't. gay has ruined me more than most is why.

a few months later back inwestmoor again. went downstairs not knowing anything. talked to derek; who was doing his false weeping. told derek if he was in hell to call me and i'd come get him out. why would ileave you insduch a nasty place i said. then tony called me over. there were two men there. a tall black haired man i kbnew at once was false. and this other. tall, his hair white suddenly, eyes deep blue. nice smile. watching me with intense interest but had a trick of being one wityh the wall so i hadn't seen him. he said his name' brent spiner. i asked if he was canadian;'he said he was texan. i said he should sue his mother about that name; he said his name was his own doing. we laughed. tony kept walking righht through me which is not very nice and then started moaning about accounnts so i dismissed him back to the office where he was back in r1 and knew nothing. you see i was becoming god? but hadn't realised. as this man can't have believed or why not run? he didn't the power being really his.

so as we joked about the virgin mary [i said no wonder she was virgin;terrible atitude] and so on, i knew he was beginning to love me as women do. suddenly he asked me to marry him. by this time i was fully a gentle; the old one straight from the time of the death of the good eagle. though he only knew of the one. i was so surprised i nearly fell off the chair. i told him [as that lord gentle] in 590 billion years no-one ever asked that before. so he asked me again. i established he meant not christian marriage. no, he said, the hieros gamos. i had heard of it. i thought in a limited way we could do it. and so we agreed to be wed. but he asked a third time, because what happened happpened next obn two levels at once. the other bgentles made themselves known. and out of me stepped my other self. then the other. now one is the girl who bore so much for me in the attic. i called her daisybrain for she is simplee. the other is the child who gay did it all to. she is called 'another planet'...daisybrain looked about 14 vyears...the other lets call me zog its shorter a kid of 5 or so. daisybrain examined him carefullly. she liked his ears, his eyes, a noble brow; his hands, she looked into him; knew as i did not that he was hiding a lot and yet was a nice man. she said 'for my part i see no reason why this marriage cannot be made'..
and the lords bowed because she too is god. then she retired to watch i think. the child came down. being told all the way down;be gentle be polite be nice. so i looked on him the first man i ever saw after gay. i liked him but was shy. casting in my mind i wanted to make sure her could wed and also know i liked him. well i was 5 you know. so i laid my hand on what i thought was his knee and said; and is your weapon well? which healed everything that was ever wrong with the man instantly in rather a good way. i meant no ill. being god can sometimes be alarming. but i was charmed; altho a bit surprised, actually i thought he was dead. it was then i saw all these very small satanic types behind him. he came back with a will in his eye and said; this is the one for me! also that he was very well thank you. yes i reckon he was, but i knew his kbnees wobbled for a week. and then off he went with all these others and went. only just remembering to write a phone number down on an empty pkt of fags. well that was just stupid. i kept it a while but then knew not why. so out it went. oh yes each time he tells me he works for the nhs in various ways.
but on other levels a lot happened. that false jesus i knocked him down and threw him out. then he was judging me all the time. when i proved nice which must have been a lot that one woul;d be summoned by some emergency and leave. now i know he calmly watched everyone of the be murdered. for that is the real rule. the good are to be destroyed. which this fool did.
so i was jehovah;yet not. cast out jesus as false. which he is; as i have tiold you elsewhere. told this man about me and allah. then finally he damned [saved] me on the grounds that i once told a lie. in fact now i'm all intact it was the wrong lie. the fibs of a child in school are nothing to the other one! anyway a child again i made sure i was damned the right way. yes he said swetly. gave me an ugly cup which i knew to drink from would make me as he. in fact tony gave it me; so he was back. in fact i told this man if he was gays creature i would kill hiom as you see he is, and also that gay awould be near. later as i went to the kitchen to drink from the cup it was dashed from my hands with such force he was shocked. such is gays hatred, anyway i looked at hinm in despair. now you see? i said to him. even when i do all i can i am never acceptd. its not satan you know its gay the real god. who is gay he asked? my father and your perpeptual murderer i said. but you will know thats true far too late. this must have been r3.

so last the gentles came together; and i showed him i was god. but thats not true i think, what he saw then i am programmed to display; and i saw his hate and envy. yet loved him.

so off they went. and it was all forgot by me in about 20 minutes. but i have now this thing? months later remembering. what triggered it was seeing him, on the bus. he looked different; i didn't know anything. but saw him do the one thing needful. he pitied me. real pity, unforced, genuine. of course gay saw it too., anyway students you know the rest. i saw him very often but always in disgiuse. buses, trains, once he even came here.

but you understand whats happpened? elohim came here too. my fantastic deadly war began. first to remember it all. from the beginning. what made it go was this terrible love i had for this king. yet every attempt he made i did nothing. its gay of course. and also himself. he wants me to obey him. i want truth; he must be himself. or we both die one way or the other. anyway i prayed el to take it away; he did, and all that love was addiction; that grapnel thing. last time round i let the universe be destroyed if only i might see him. but never did. so here we are i have released us all from the repeting nick, its now or never these darkside chumps help me help them. as you see he never will now. and that constant lying...is there two? i think not. so i love him not. find that i am god.

and from here on make you all extinct. for all of you are monsters. gays things. its mercy; but you are grown too vile to know it. but mercy for me too. well its time i knew mercy; even if all i can do is live forever alone. its better than living with you.

so thats really judgement. you are damned for your goodness. your judge is a devil, a liar, a man trying to be a son of the evil most high. he loved me and still does; so now the truth is out. judge your judges, oh man. kill them all, these dark fiends. if you don't i will. and forget you all. yet never again forget i anything.

so you see as you destroy me all good leaves with me. that leaves you monsters in hell. or i win, and you lot fade into the dust you are. and thank me as you do you trash. for my biggest sin is that i am not cruel as you are and always have been.

so now go and thank your king.