last remark

had a nightmare night a few days ago.all night seriously considered whether or not it might be true, that i an the devil. the really evil one?

well if i am i think its terrible and i should be humanely put to sleep. if i am then i never knew and trying to keep hold of the idea is making the world spin. if i am then i was not an instrument of 'god' but the main engine of the train and the driver. but that is not what i remember at all. what is true is that various split off bits of me have allowed or caused terrible things to happen to all, anyone at all, that i told him [in a asc] who could stop him or help me.

the devil a girl-child; in all that endless suffering? no it must be the other way round. it is gay who is the liar, the slaver, the nurderer, the fiddler, the abuser, the torturer, the false witness, the mysognist, the queer who hides it in attacking other queers, the cruel mocker who thinks cruelty is 'fun'

no. your god; your oh so superior male god who is no-ones father, who betrays all who believe in him no matter what they think their religion is...he is the DEVIL. so who should all; everywhere ....be trying to help? get away from him? fling into battle beside? well me you muffin. me.