pray for me ?

i just asked el or great father to make me an really effective form [female, not bird!] as numerous attacks will happen. thats if i go on. but all i got is this earthlevel mind. but that mind is godsize. the rules are 1. the more you know the bigger you grow 2. the more you care the more you dare 3. love is the way to get hearts to be brave 4. wisdom of good is about dealing with evil. there is no evil wisdom; they don't know the rules [see above]. and as you reading this can feel i am doing right now what used to be black magic. except these are the rules of growing to be god. and its god who is telling you. just in case you forgot.
so satan and yetzoah were originally or have come to be teachers? they test you. but they are good deep down as all were to begin with. they just either sound or feel awful. they were nearly going to infinite hell because of seabreezes cruelty. unheard unjudged. but they are fogiven as are all except those mentioned before. [at xmas i damned thelot to get you through that firestorm thing. hang on to it for a bit. if gay does in you will then be on the winning side. all of you. so he gets the arseache. who cares?] anyway so you see there's 2 levels of evil. these the maligned who test us. so they are reasonably good. which is why they fell into gays traps; testing their fellows, their scary religions. but look and mostly these people are odd but okay. christians etc usually are dreadful? ask them how to treat heretics, minors, genders, races, ...have you not heard of the inquistion? so the good want to be good but can't see anything wwrong with themselves. gay. what he is and made others to be is really evil. so i have got help coming.
i remembered that wet sac thing? gay said he was born of it. long ago. saw it and crawled right back into it. i don't know why. sometimes i do things i don't knknow why.
i came to a huge underground. lots of dark faced people wearing headdresses? like black feathers. no flames, no tortures, no milling in panic. we looked on each other in shock. then i asked to see who was their god? they hastened me along. then up. they weren't in any pain or distress. i came up into white susunshine. a real angel stood there. not bent or weak or mad or spiteful or ststupid. a strong attractive face. no wings. he was all white, steady. he also was surprised. i knew. i gabbled out my plea for help as fast as i could because i'm unstable. i will record here.
'this is the real universe isn't it? i have come from another; its a terrible place of cruelty...is your god alive? he pointed i looked. geomtry shining white in the near distance. others like this angel drawing near. i beg you to help us. do you know what is mercy? charity? of course he said. thank god i said. i think someone we call gay escaped from your prison below? gay? we know him he said. he got out by treachery some awful nurse. then he waited for our universe to start. he's taken over everywhere destroying ruining everyone everything is being muredered over and over ...please help us i think he intends to build to extreme power and then come back here and come behind you and your god and do thr same to you. revenge or jealousy. our universe will seem to you a parody of yours. but we the beings are in awful suffering. speaking directly to their god i said; hurry but don't leap without looking. he uses black magic. hurry. help. ' and with that found myself here at home. the angel looked concerned. so they have feelings there. as i describe our spiritlands you will see why thats important.
oh i forgot. i tried to thinkmof all thats happened/will happen at once at their god. but i reckoned to him about anat. i thought anat might be himself after being murdered [still in the future] by gay. so either anat/this old god are one and the same. or one or both of them are gay. since gay tried everything to fuck it up my guess its truly the first. which explains why gay is so afraid of death, doesn't it?

the next day saw great father being inspected by a thinking light. like a torch? so this old god has found us and starting with great father is diagnosing us. so judgment is more like a physicians diagnosis than the other thing. anyway if there is not any grown up sensible strong gerry god to go on someone please look after the little gerries out there. teach them how to grow up [suck their own blood and eat! eat anything!] and if they are too badly injured; please let them die quietly and in peace.

so gay is only a nasty criminal from there. well he's a lot worse now.
so we see all the signs of the end of the world coming in. i give the truths in this blog. i am always alone, though i need a friend like i'm in agony? the king or maybe its my daughter is never alone enough. things are happening also to ot others, like me. and today the pope 'will be asked to open an abortion clinic and bless condoms? a grandmother openly is with child by her grandson? america is tainted by jew-haters?
hope i live on? hope i don't? i can't make my mind up either. can you?