today i promised myself to show all the world an innocent man. you see that name; brent spiner? let me be quite clear, i have heard from the famous actor and it clearly was not him who set all this off. so he is blameless. a kind and patient man who has put up with me for months yet doesn't understand anything. anyone else would have gotten threatening or simply had me chucked off the web. not this man. he is kind; sometimes replying even with gentleness to me. so no, he is not the king. why my man should have used his name and facts of his life to me is an absolute mystery and i can't explain it at all. i want people always to remember that gay talked to me of a man in two' and its that that keeps me hanging about in this adolescent hope. but then gay also opined that 1 was dangerous to me? so you know what i think? its not this brilliant man; but my own my king who is deadly...well he set it all off. he is around but won't own himself? keeps trying to make me a darksider? well i will for him. thats love i suppose. but then you know it can't stick. i'd be all good again in a few months. but really you see for reasons unknown he set it all off and then hides? so he's the enemy. isn't he?
anyway i was in suffering and angry an you know i tend to visit it upon this poor chaps head. but he is innocent and i really wish he was my friend he's been that nice. so when i talk about the doings of the king its my bloke always i mean and not the lord brent spiner; famous actor in all things but one. his kindness is no act but the real thing. and i want everyone who reads this to know it.
Sunday 28 March 2010
is she insane?
you know thats a sign of your own lack of courage? you are so scared deep down that you fly into denial. seek the easiest way to both deny me and ignore me. 'oh she's mad'.
yes i can crack up. but according to the 'authorities' you run to ; well there is no such thing as god. or spirits. or morality [its all culture.] and ALL religionists are crazy. there is niether heaven nor hell. nor other realms. and only savages believe in magic. the only real maggicians being those idiots on telly doing tricks with a camera. oh and myths are only fairytales; which are lies. oh yes of course; and you don't really exist either; being just an illusion made by your all-important brain. now vote here and give me all your money. generally thats what your keepers of 'truth' say. isn't it?
you look carefully at your keepers. they are some of the nastiest people on earth. that is one thing.
the second is this; you are defying the actual experience not just of your saints and visionaries but of millions and millions of your fellows throughout the ages. in fact all you ever had to do to find out whether its true is not join this religion or that but practise whatever yoga or prayer is easiest for you to one aim; only one. that of remembering your past. and you wwill find at first only recall of bad experiences. then bad deeds. then selfknowledge; your own faults in will. then your last life. then more. then more. you begin to be overwhelmed; there are too many. thats because you are now sharing the memory of others. finally you will recall something of spiritlife; what you are and where you are and all that nastiness IN BETWEEN LIVES. then concentrate on that. then you will know as i know how terrible it is out there. and try to stop about there. too much and you will die. i haven't because the gods hold me. there. you can do it if you have energy and courage in under 5 years. and you don't have to believe in god; only yourself. if you can't believe in your own existence then brother stop living. go away. you are a monkey; stay happy dirty and nothing. but go someplace else?
as for me yes the psychiatrists got to me early. i let them. even sought them out. at the age of ten. because i needed help with my jailor mother; who is an abuser too; though of a lesser kind. i couldn't stand school. i thought they seemed kind. you understand i never see much kindness? so i headed for them. but of course these people are more lost than you! i remember i saw a letter from my psychiatrist when i was 19. now i loved this bloke. he wrote; 'she is completely insane and will remain so. there seems to be no explanation'. he was writing to a possible employer!!
so a psychiatrist believes as i have depicted above. on no evidence or experoience whatever. its 'science'. but science originally was it not the pursuit of truth? what happened to that? because now its all about money and hating even the concept of 'god'....yes. HATRED. not exactly sane, nor truthful. is it? and kind? look what he did, knowing nobody would employ someone like that...in fact psychiatrists doctors social workers; nasty people. spend their time exercising their opinions to destroy families. children. the sick too. you go to them because they seem kind, offer help? and they will ruin your entire life.
as for being insane and no cause; here its all spelt out the cause. he only had to ask but never did. male doctors only want young personable female patients to talk about sex. ad nauseam, in fact. because it turns them on; wankers like all the rest. so they solemnly opine all these delusions are due to sexual perversion. and this naturally turns the converse to sex, and so the problem which is about good and evil is ignored lest it spoil their wank. yet you trust them,. and let them lead you by the nose to the bank. if only you people really knew doctors!! they are all about money. nothing else. status and money. really they are lowlife trash; even murderers. true. a lot of nurses too.
but even supposing a lot of it is illness....well i married. 15 years. who ruined that? my husband did. brought up my slightly strange daughter. ask her who hurt her childhood. and she will tell you her father, the school, her unwanted pregnancies, lots of things. but not me.
i have worked; at first not very successfully; all my life. i am honest. i have never been in prison. i have never begged nor stolen or sold my body. i disd try drugs in my youth. but it made me ill. i don't drink; although the other day i did. i am no streetfighter. i neither scream nor shout. my grandsons various weaknesses seem to do with either a toxin in the envirionment or birth things. they all 3 love and depend on me. i am promised also to come to the rescue of my brothers six children if they need help; and to try to provide for them too; since he is dead. i am pleasant and talk sensibly and am reasonably nice to know. i am a psychiatric nurse; my patients like me and usually improve somewhat.
right? where in all that is this 'insanity'...? its not there, is it? as for the religionists they are not wrong in their faith that there is another state. only they are wrong never to explore it or get their memory back. so they stuck in religions which look good but in fact do evil. and i say so. they reading this shall discover hatred and murder in their heasrts; my proof to them that i lie not. they are being made evil by these same religions. so because it is my last life i tell all i know so someone somewhere can put right all i did wrong. and destroy that vicious man. is it insane? well however hard you try you will die. and find out. but do these things now. and then you won't find out too late?
whoever learns of me and finds safe harbour in this way; he is saved. but remember. you go out there to remover all false law to find the real gods and help them to heal. bring the good laws and the good lords and the wise ladies back again. your aim and mission is that; even if you have to look a bit devilly at first to do it.
suck and see. ask satan and yetzoah who has forgiven them since they had no more choice than i did; and now they can tell you they are forgiven because i did that the other day. its gay i have damned and not them. go find each other. and know you are also forgiven. well what else can i do? its all been down to me! just remember its gay who invented damnation. hates forgiveness. now you see which one is mad?
don't call me mad again. please.
yes i can crack up. but according to the 'authorities' you run to ; well there is no such thing as god. or spirits. or morality [its all culture.] and ALL religionists are crazy. there is niether heaven nor hell. nor other realms. and only savages believe in magic. the only real maggicians being those idiots on telly doing tricks with a camera. oh and myths are only fairytales; which are lies. oh yes of course; and you don't really exist either; being just an illusion made by your all-important brain. now vote here and give me all your money. generally thats what your keepers of 'truth' say. isn't it?
you look carefully at your keepers. they are some of the nastiest people on earth. that is one thing.
the second is this; you are defying the actual experience not just of your saints and visionaries but of millions and millions of your fellows throughout the ages. in fact all you ever had to do to find out whether its true is not join this religion or that but practise whatever yoga or prayer is easiest for you to one aim; only one. that of remembering your past. and you wwill find at first only recall of bad experiences. then bad deeds. then selfknowledge; your own faults in will. then your last life. then more. then more. you begin to be overwhelmed; there are too many. thats because you are now sharing the memory of others. finally you will recall something of spiritlife; what you are and where you are and all that nastiness IN BETWEEN LIVES. then concentrate on that. then you will know as i know how terrible it is out there. and try to stop about there. too much and you will die. i haven't because the gods hold me. there. you can do it if you have energy and courage in under 5 years. and you don't have to believe in god; only yourself. if you can't believe in your own existence then brother stop living. go away. you are a monkey; stay happy dirty and nothing. but go someplace else?
as for me yes the psychiatrists got to me early. i let them. even sought them out. at the age of ten. because i needed help with my jailor mother; who is an abuser too; though of a lesser kind. i couldn't stand school. i thought they seemed kind. you understand i never see much kindness? so i headed for them. but of course these people are more lost than you! i remember i saw a letter from my psychiatrist when i was 19. now i loved this bloke. he wrote; 'she is completely insane and will remain so. there seems to be no explanation'. he was writing to a possible employer!!
so a psychiatrist believes as i have depicted above. on no evidence or experoience whatever. its 'science'. but science originally was it not the pursuit of truth? what happened to that? because now its all about money and hating even the concept of 'god'....yes. HATRED. not exactly sane, nor truthful. is it? and kind? look what he did, knowing nobody would employ someone like that...in fact psychiatrists doctors social workers; nasty people. spend their time exercising their opinions to destroy families. children. the sick too. you go to them because they seem kind, offer help? and they will ruin your entire life.
as for being insane and no cause; here its all spelt out the cause. he only had to ask but never did. male doctors only want young personable female patients to talk about sex. ad nauseam, in fact. because it turns them on; wankers like all the rest. so they solemnly opine all these delusions are due to sexual perversion. and this naturally turns the converse to sex, and so the problem which is about good and evil is ignored lest it spoil their wank. yet you trust them,. and let them lead you by the nose to the bank. if only you people really knew doctors!! they are all about money. nothing else. status and money. really they are lowlife trash; even murderers. true. a lot of nurses too.
but even supposing a lot of it is illness....well i married. 15 years. who ruined that? my husband did. brought up my slightly strange daughter. ask her who hurt her childhood. and she will tell you her father, the school, her unwanted pregnancies, lots of things. but not me.
i have worked; at first not very successfully; all my life. i am honest. i have never been in prison. i have never begged nor stolen or sold my body. i disd try drugs in my youth. but it made me ill. i don't drink; although the other day i did. i am no streetfighter. i neither scream nor shout. my grandsons various weaknesses seem to do with either a toxin in the envirionment or birth things. they all 3 love and depend on me. i am promised also to come to the rescue of my brothers six children if they need help; and to try to provide for them too; since he is dead. i am pleasant and talk sensibly and am reasonably nice to know. i am a psychiatric nurse; my patients like me and usually improve somewhat.
right? where in all that is this 'insanity'...? its not there, is it? as for the religionists they are not wrong in their faith that there is another state. only they are wrong never to explore it or get their memory back. so they stuck in religions which look good but in fact do evil. and i say so. they reading this shall discover hatred and murder in their heasrts; my proof to them that i lie not. they are being made evil by these same religions. so because it is my last life i tell all i know so someone somewhere can put right all i did wrong. and destroy that vicious man. is it insane? well however hard you try you will die. and find out. but do these things now. and then you won't find out too late?
whoever learns of me and finds safe harbour in this way; he is saved. but remember. you go out there to remover all false law to find the real gods and help them to heal. bring the good laws and the good lords and the wise ladies back again. your aim and mission is that; even if you have to look a bit devilly at first to do it.
suck and see. ask satan and yetzoah who has forgiven them since they had no more choice than i did; and now they can tell you they are forgiven because i did that the other day. its gay i have damned and not them. go find each other. and know you are also forgiven. well what else can i do? its all been down to me! just remember its gay who invented damnation. hates forgiveness. now you see which one is mad?
don't call me mad again. please.
understanding what i say.
people cannot understand me apparently. this may not be too hard an obstacle if i can figure out what it is they can't see.
1. spirits equal minds. the mind at its last analysis isn't the whole you; your ego [sense of self] is. but not you as mr berts or miss nitt or master bob. you as who we really all are. god. so as such we all been around a long time. now any educated hindu can explain this. as we evolve from brute to man we behave against or for various moral codes. these are your sins and virtues respectively. you are supposed to be rewarded for your good deeds and punished for your bad deeds. everyone alive knows this. and i am telling you that its never happened.
2. the spirits are not millions of miles away up in space. they are here. in miniature 'realities' thousands of them. wound like shiny snailtrails all over the earth. they are usually just as unaware of us as we are unaware of them. so we know that they can live very small. down to the size of a molecule and conversely expand to encompass the entire creation.
any educated yogi will tell you that that concept [god from smallest to biggest, oldest to youngest etc] is also the exercise of maha yoga.
3. your mind is between your ears. but though you use your mind to be and learn in space/time [remember you are god], that mind is transubstantial in the world of matter. so to ddo anything we have to live in a material form; and to do so intelligently we have evolved/created a goood enough brain. so a. mind is taking a ride in your brain b. when you die its brain that dies not you and c. you will be another spirit [think of small strange angels, no wings, confused...lost in a violent loveless foodless desert; that is you too] wandering in those realities. and expected to pay there for sins done here. now all the christians can understand me.
with me something different. when i was young my father who we all called gay because that was his nickname cozened several females into having children so he could experiment on them. now we all have lived many many lives. suddenly the buddhists can hear me. these repeated lives are in other realities beside this one. heavens, hells. where are they? here. on planet earth. this justice is not ruled by this god or that because no-one can be trusted not to be biased. so its ruled by a law that keeps it balanced. every educated buddhist knows this is so. but i say it is not exactly right. i made that law of karma. ;they shall suffer their own will'. not to maintain balance but to keep the evil from going crazy with cruelty. whilst they might cop some of the pain it kept them restrained. because i was not a huge great god but a child who couldn't escape from that monster gay. out there. in spiritlands proper; which are very far away from earth. so what were gays experiments?
4. he wanted to see if a spirit could be made to apppear and do his bidding like a slave. be used as a weapon. start and suppport his absolute rule. turn all the heavens into hells. make only cruel perverts like himself to be the winners. and he did this by hypnosis etc. but he had to get the right one. which is me. messiah. suddenly the jews are listening. why would any man want evil to win. to be the right answer? how about someone so utterly evil he was damned. absolutely. but escaped and came to our univers and seeking to punish anyone who reminded him of his original keepers forever found out how to use a child of god to go back in time and kill the original good gods of this new universe. so thats what he did. and i was that child.
5. the mind can be split. i am not talking about multiple personalites. you can be split into two sepo=erate versions of yourself. gay does this very often but i don't know how, and so there are several small girls running around with several versions of him in the spiritlands. and each child [yes all me's ] has some of the powers of god. because to become god you have to be morally perfect, huge in knowledge, and do all thse yogas etc perfectly. which is what he made me do back in that attic. but you see at once who he must be? and now any educated hindu or buddhist can understand me. and so can christians and jews. for all religions are met in me. but he went back into the past with me and so i have had millions of 'lives' although i now guess they're sopme of them shared memories. and been god over and over going up and down in my evolution like a blooming great yoyo. because of course i'm good. so he's evil. the laws he made while i was a hypnotised child are the exact insane opposite of the laws that made me god; that keep us all sane and safe and put the criminal lunatics in an asylium. so you see before i was born history was different? and so now we alll in second history. but the change in history didn't happen here but out there back in the past. as i have explained. when gay turned nasty in forst place it was all heavy with fear? when the eagles died in their beginning from that time it went dark? and as the people gods and wotnot discovered the real laws they either went mad or turned evil; which in my opinion is the same thing.
6. now i am nearly sixty. my memory had to return. the gods elohim [hello my dear jews!] and some others determined that i was the cause of it all. i think it was even me who stood outside each phase of creation and denied them food! the right and need of all that exist! so it was me... no wonder i had an obsession about it for years. anyway so in my teenage years elohim set off my long remembering. be cause obviously us gods have got to fix it all. and put heavens back where they belong. and get rid of devils and evil. i'd got a long way by myself but for years just poodled along thinking there wasn't more. but there was a lot more. the king turned up and the rest you now know.
7. gay of course didn't want any of it to be known at all. i was supposed to live a rather miserable humdrum life and die and wake up in limitless hell evermore and never understand why. so you all think the hereafter is heavely and nice and safe. you all here think the laws of god are heavely and nice and safe. poor us. poor you. go ask any witch or warlock what the laws really are. i can tell you and so can they in one word. black.
right. so now these poor stupid americans can consult their dictionaries and go to their libraries and read vivekananda etc. and give them a year or so and by the time the world ends they'll be experts.
be of good cheer. yesterday i went again through a stage of becoming god. you know its nearly all about knowledge? so i have recalled all the past. seen all the futures. and last night recalled all the suffering. this time it was curtailed and mostly about the awful deaths.lives of women and little children. omniscience should in include that; otherwise you get a god who is indifferent or cruel. which is why its happening to me. after all. aren't i to blame? now you see why gay isn't properly god. its the bit he couldn't face. that an having to know what its like being a girl.
so yes i was always god. and now am consciously so roght here on earth.
but good news tonight. last night attacked gay savagely several times. and then today was hearing beautiful singing. and it was female voices. a sweet nice little song. 'and the meek ...and the meek; O the meek shall inherit the earth.' so this is the second time the deep futures have let me hear them singing. they might or will exist because of me. so i promised to keep faith with them. i can't see them. but guessed they all female gods. sound calm, nice, sane, and glad. so am i. so am i. told them if they can hear me to not go back and change the past. its a permanent lesson and warning as to what can happen. those who are avid for power are the very ones who muust not get it. the male sex is the more lowly; without the Queens its all hell for the gods as well. i don't mean libertas; she wakes thr fathers, the white christs, the lords both black and white and the lady gods. though it seems she's gone into the past its not yours but mine. in first place [if ever good gods rule] find it and any alive in there put them out of their misery.
last thing i said, i don't know whats coming but it must be bad. if i have to consent to stay gays victim in hell so that all you gods present and future can rule and bring back goodness; then so be it. i will pay the price. but i appealed to them whenever they can to come down and kill me one day. lest i suffer for ever for the sin of being good. of not knowing i was god and not he. of working his cruelty unseeing, because i was blind.
so yes i can guess now that this is my victory. i bet it is. well then the victory i win i give toi the good and i charge them to keep it forever. never let that thing get in again. never give up your victory. never.
1. spirits equal minds. the mind at its last analysis isn't the whole you; your ego [sense of self] is. but not you as mr berts or miss nitt or master bob. you as who we really all are. god. so as such we all been around a long time. now any educated hindu can explain this. as we evolve from brute to man we behave against or for various moral codes. these are your sins and virtues respectively. you are supposed to be rewarded for your good deeds and punished for your bad deeds. everyone alive knows this. and i am telling you that its never happened.
2. the spirits are not millions of miles away up in space. they are here. in miniature 'realities' thousands of them. wound like shiny snailtrails all over the earth. they are usually just as unaware of us as we are unaware of them. so we know that they can live very small. down to the size of a molecule and conversely expand to encompass the entire creation.
any educated yogi will tell you that that concept [god from smallest to biggest, oldest to youngest etc] is also the exercise of maha yoga.
3. your mind is between your ears. but though you use your mind to be and learn in space/time [remember you are god], that mind is transubstantial in the world of matter. so to ddo anything we have to live in a material form; and to do so intelligently we have evolved/created a goood enough brain. so a. mind is taking a ride in your brain b. when you die its brain that dies not you and c. you will be another spirit [think of small strange angels, no wings, confused...lost in a violent loveless foodless desert; that is you too] wandering in those realities. and expected to pay there for sins done here. now all the christians can understand me.
with me something different. when i was young my father who we all called gay because that was his nickname cozened several females into having children so he could experiment on them. now we all have lived many many lives. suddenly the buddhists can hear me. these repeated lives are in other realities beside this one. heavens, hells. where are they? here. on planet earth. this justice is not ruled by this god or that because no-one can be trusted not to be biased. so its ruled by a law that keeps it balanced. every educated buddhist knows this is so. but i say it is not exactly right. i made that law of karma. ;they shall suffer their own will'. not to maintain balance but to keep the evil from going crazy with cruelty. whilst they might cop some of the pain it kept them restrained. because i was not a huge great god but a child who couldn't escape from that monster gay. out there. in spiritlands proper; which are very far away from earth. so what were gays experiments?
4. he wanted to see if a spirit could be made to apppear and do his bidding like a slave. be used as a weapon. start and suppport his absolute rule. turn all the heavens into hells. make only cruel perverts like himself to be the winners. and he did this by hypnosis etc. but he had to get the right one. which is me. messiah. suddenly the jews are listening. why would any man want evil to win. to be the right answer? how about someone so utterly evil he was damned. absolutely. but escaped and came to our univers and seeking to punish anyone who reminded him of his original keepers forever found out how to use a child of god to go back in time and kill the original good gods of this new universe. so thats what he did. and i was that child.
5. the mind can be split. i am not talking about multiple personalites. you can be split into two sepo=erate versions of yourself. gay does this very often but i don't know how, and so there are several small girls running around with several versions of him in the spiritlands. and each child [yes all me's ] has some of the powers of god. because to become god you have to be morally perfect, huge in knowledge, and do all thse yogas etc perfectly. which is what he made me do back in that attic. but you see at once who he must be? and now any educated hindu or buddhist can understand me. and so can christians and jews. for all religions are met in me. but he went back into the past with me and so i have had millions of 'lives' although i now guess they're sopme of them shared memories. and been god over and over going up and down in my evolution like a blooming great yoyo. because of course i'm good. so he's evil. the laws he made while i was a hypnotised child are the exact insane opposite of the laws that made me god; that keep us all sane and safe and put the criminal lunatics in an asylium. so you see before i was born history was different? and so now we alll in second history. but the change in history didn't happen here but out there back in the past. as i have explained. when gay turned nasty in forst place it was all heavy with fear? when the eagles died in their beginning from that time it went dark? and as the people gods and wotnot discovered the real laws they either went mad or turned evil; which in my opinion is the same thing.
6. now i am nearly sixty. my memory had to return. the gods elohim [hello my dear jews!] and some others determined that i was the cause of it all. i think it was even me who stood outside each phase of creation and denied them food! the right and need of all that exist! so it was me... no wonder i had an obsession about it for years. anyway so in my teenage years elohim set off my long remembering. be cause obviously us gods have got to fix it all. and put heavens back where they belong. and get rid of devils and evil. i'd got a long way by myself but for years just poodled along thinking there wasn't more. but there was a lot more. the king turned up and the rest you now know.
7. gay of course didn't want any of it to be known at all. i was supposed to live a rather miserable humdrum life and die and wake up in limitless hell evermore and never understand why. so you all think the hereafter is heavely and nice and safe. you all here think the laws of god are heavely and nice and safe. poor us. poor you. go ask any witch or warlock what the laws really are. i can tell you and so can they in one word. black.
right. so now these poor stupid americans can consult their dictionaries and go to their libraries and read vivekananda etc. and give them a year or so and by the time the world ends they'll be experts.
be of good cheer. yesterday i went again through a stage of becoming god. you know its nearly all about knowledge? so i have recalled all the past. seen all the futures. and last night recalled all the suffering. this time it was curtailed and mostly about the awful deaths.lives of women and little children. omniscience should in include that; otherwise you get a god who is indifferent or cruel. which is why its happening to me. after all. aren't i to blame? now you see why gay isn't properly god. its the bit he couldn't face. that an having to know what its like being a girl.
so yes i was always god. and now am consciously so roght here on earth.
but good news tonight. last night attacked gay savagely several times. and then today was hearing beautiful singing. and it was female voices. a sweet nice little song. 'and the meek ...and the meek; O the meek shall inherit the earth.' so this is the second time the deep futures have let me hear them singing. they might or will exist because of me. so i promised to keep faith with them. i can't see them. but guessed they all female gods. sound calm, nice, sane, and glad. so am i. so am i. told them if they can hear me to not go back and change the past. its a permanent lesson and warning as to what can happen. those who are avid for power are the very ones who muust not get it. the male sex is the more lowly; without the Queens its all hell for the gods as well. i don't mean libertas; she wakes thr fathers, the white christs, the lords both black and white and the lady gods. though it seems she's gone into the past its not yours but mine. in first place [if ever good gods rule] find it and any alive in there put them out of their misery.
last thing i said, i don't know whats coming but it must be bad. if i have to consent to stay gays victim in hell so that all you gods present and future can rule and bring back goodness; then so be it. i will pay the price. but i appealed to them whenever they can to come down and kill me one day. lest i suffer for ever for the sin of being good. of not knowing i was god and not he. of working his cruelty unseeing, because i was blind.
so yes i can guess now that this is my victory. i bet it is. well then the victory i win i give toi the good and i charge them to keep it forever. never let that thing get in again. never give up your victory. never.
Friday 26 March 2010
women your teaching.
now i talk to women. i mean women firstly in their spirits. also those men who see and understand and agree with what i now say. all of these; gentle, yearning for an kinder world, understanding its all wrong the way it is; these i address. for there is nothing false in me.
1. this is your world. men who are from cradle to grave trying to bully, masturbate, gouge out money, clart up the place with muck, wars, teaser talk on righteousness? they are evil. we all know this. they have reduced themselves lower even than dogs. look not to them for guidance in anything. they are what they sound like. they can't even keep their backsides clean; as any wife here knows. they refuse to attend to their own dwellings; oh thats the womens care. no it isn't. look at every 'culture' if you are so silly as to believe it is 'culture' centuries of beatings, burnings, infamy, illiteracy, accusations not just false but weirdly silly. to this day girls sold by their fathers into 'marriage' which is prostitution, slavery. and being burnt alive by the 'husband' usually over money which is not in her control anyway. this is culture? these brides are young. 13, 15, 17 is usual. are women inferior?no. its because the men are that its all like this. why then do you support and believe in its rightness? its not right, any of it.
look at boys. given every advantage; yet what can most show for it? nothing. its a mans world alright. just look at it. boys can shout abuse at any woman however senior; in most places. men only want to fight, but not for right. they tell me how they enjoy killing, cruelty. the sex thing? we are actually sexier; but its smashed out of us day by day. and if you look everyone of us is stuck dwelling with some damn great ignorant male. in most places having no rights at all. raped then aren't we, day by day. but expected to put on the sexy show [for them] and play happpy families whenever. its not true. in such a system no-one can ever be happy. certainly not them. huge monkeys they are become. lepers of insane cruelty. thats them. beneath contempt.
and you all think god has ordained it? don't be ridiculous, it was them. dirty filthy manky old things trying to get sex all the time, dispense with love. the truth is this. they are the lower sex. one of the things that gay has hidden deep as he could for years. it was the Queen our Mother' even Anattas, who was to be Ruler. but as mother. which is why gay destroyed her first. then the lady-gods whom daisybrain right about now is wakening from their awful deaths. then he poisoned the gods against the entire female race so the eagles will was betrayed by themselves. and instead of ladygods you got devils; all of whom are male. because gay only admires the male. asocial, hysterically masturbating, determined to be superior always fighting or abusing or driving the weak into atrocities. so amusing. their real greatest pleasure isn't sex my dears. its power of course. and what do they want power for? oh to be as cruel as possible; that being true pleasure. and so all their religions which teach and support these moronic louts are gays; as are they.
think. a religion which keeps slavery, sexual commerce, cruelty, is it not evil? against all women? so its not YOUR religion, is it? they keep trying to subsume the truth.so priests wear skirts and are very wicked to children. all gurus the same; you indian mothers never send your daughters to them because they wiil be raped the first day and burnt for 'their' sin the next. so all these relgions christianity, judaism, islam, buddhism, and in some ways the worst; hindism...you see at once its not about god. its about maintaning their dominance. but if they were truly superior they ewould neither need to nor want to; and if they did why that way? brutality, injustice, mob threatenings of these women they reckon are 'weak'and therefore are no threat to them? you see at once these gods [who are either lying monstrosities; jesus, moses, mohammed, buddha] or plain fantasies [virtually all the ancient pantheons including that rubbish still rubbishing the minds in india]; are not teaching anything. just slavery of women, slavery of this group or that. and yet these morons believe its all 'righteouness'.
you know i saw a picture in the paper? after a tv program about the violence against girls in china. the baby left for days in pain and fear to die in the dark all alone; think thats a me. in the picture a man dressed in a business suit stepping over a newborn girl cring dying in the street. raining. he didn't even look. thats your virtuous male? a civilised man? bet he was talking dirty to some poor bitch on his phone! another me died there i think. millions saw it. and like the pigs they are went on chewing their mounds of grub and gloating on their superiority.
but now you know the truth.i'm a woman one of the old kind too. its women who are the pushers of mankind to evolve, who push out of the caves and the pits, who cry for these children all the world over through all history. so you are the sex who can still love, be kind when you are not poisoned by their 'values' who might even now be worth it.
leave these repellant religions. they are all everyone of them about slavery yes and to gay; who is the evil one.
kill all dark spirits in the womb. so the leaders in this are those who can see? who know all here is the truth?who like me see men as they really are; are sick of trying to live with damn great shambling apes? and more. the children sacrificed in all history were nearly all girls. they burned them in those tophets. alive. to get boys! so you see how mad it is. never again consult any man on the subject of morals. ethics. or god. because all they teach is gays shit; and now you see what it is. babies who die before they see the light of day in the spirit world have all this time been devoured by these evil ones. alive. these your gods. all male. so what you do each time you abort a dark one in your womb is send him out to endure that himself! which may stop them doing it. and set this your world bit by bit free of these evil shits.
but also i want you from now on to reverse the behaviour they have demanded of you for years. you abort boys. as many as are got on you you from now on introduce to that bucket. toot suite. why not? do you not realise you have been murdered, by your mothers, because the men insisted on saving money? for hundreds of years. what if they scream its wrong? strange how suddenly its wrong when this morning your daughter was sliced to bits in your belly and then it was okay? and what about money? the truth is girls only get dresses;cheap crap too, when they are sold into marriage.since they are never educated they therefore cost less than boys. true. and you all know it. the dowry is a male invention. just stop doing it. if a man loves her he won't think of money anyway. and never again allow your daughters to be forced to marry some creep of the 'fathers' acquaintance. she will suffer horribly for years. just as you did. they tell you women must pay for sins done in the past? which sins? these? when do the men pay. oh never. they are sinless? yet have forced this murderous antimorality on all of you for centuries. or isn't that a sin? sorry i am god. and i say it is. so from now on kill you the boys. to keep the species going you only need a few hundred for harvesting; they need not be conscious. i say to you be humane; cruelty is their thing not yours. but they have become monsters. they CAN'T love they CAN'T be kind. to pity they respond by using it to get what they want. which as always, sex and money. so sick and vile and leprous are these morons they must be culled. or you can go on with their mindless wars, their repulsive unlove sex, their dirt, their vile inhumane religions,your own slavery.
and its no good being kind to them. it means to them you are weak. pity they use. love? oh its a female disease; useful to get sex. so liars they all are, too small and nasty to know anymore what a man was meant to be. which lest they argue; was NOT A FUCKING MONKEY.
so women stick to each other. forget your racist shit. thats their shit. those of women who harm other women or try to ape men as if apemen were called to be gods; these also the rest of you destroy. because we have had enough of male muck to make all of us ill forever. so we stop them. why not? isn't their contempt all about how women are weak?not killers? well lets show them we can. if thats their superiority why then we aere definitely as good as they are! pigs.
and to the gods also the game is up. they know now they have been living in a torn and tortured universe. but good came first. all these laws gay breaks; you see they are good? so god and good are original? as are the Female. Anattas is Queen. She was first. the female spirits out there still great are the twelve amors of seabreeze. the female highers in his lower march. the ladygods of the eagles; soon to be back i hope. my own kids now been shown how to grow up. and me, libertas, and kay. from now on the only gods i allow to grow great shall all be female. the rulers at last in their right place. there must be others. the lowly females out there were defrauded; now we all put that right.
think. no wars. ever. nature left to be nature, yet also cared for? cities safe for us? no more sex industry [either legal marriage or prostitution] no more ridiculous castes or class. no more ridiculous politics, money not our bane, but gone to dust with them? for money is just a convention, a disease or addiction they have taught us. wicked bullying women ashamed at last? think of the mothers in law who beat their lessers! acting as the jailors of their fellow women for these sad sick men? all stopped.
it can all be done in a few years. start.
1. this is your world. men who are from cradle to grave trying to bully, masturbate, gouge out money, clart up the place with muck, wars, teaser talk on righteousness? they are evil. we all know this. they have reduced themselves lower even than dogs. look not to them for guidance in anything. they are what they sound like. they can't even keep their backsides clean; as any wife here knows. they refuse to attend to their own dwellings; oh thats the womens care. no it isn't. look at every 'culture' if you are so silly as to believe it is 'culture' centuries of beatings, burnings, infamy, illiteracy, accusations not just false but weirdly silly. to this day girls sold by their fathers into 'marriage' which is prostitution, slavery. and being burnt alive by the 'husband' usually over money which is not in her control anyway. this is culture? these brides are young. 13, 15, 17 is usual. are women inferior?no. its because the men are that its all like this. why then do you support and believe in its rightness? its not right, any of it.
look at boys. given every advantage; yet what can most show for it? nothing. its a mans world alright. just look at it. boys can shout abuse at any woman however senior; in most places. men only want to fight, but not for right. they tell me how they enjoy killing, cruelty. the sex thing? we are actually sexier; but its smashed out of us day by day. and if you look everyone of us is stuck dwelling with some damn great ignorant male. in most places having no rights at all. raped then aren't we, day by day. but expected to put on the sexy show [for them] and play happpy families whenever. its not true. in such a system no-one can ever be happy. certainly not them. huge monkeys they are become. lepers of insane cruelty. thats them. beneath contempt.
and you all think god has ordained it? don't be ridiculous, it was them. dirty filthy manky old things trying to get sex all the time, dispense with love. the truth is this. they are the lower sex. one of the things that gay has hidden deep as he could for years. it was the Queen our Mother' even Anattas, who was to be Ruler. but as mother. which is why gay destroyed her first. then the lady-gods whom daisybrain right about now is wakening from their awful deaths. then he poisoned the gods against the entire female race so the eagles will was betrayed by themselves. and instead of ladygods you got devils; all of whom are male. because gay only admires the male. asocial, hysterically masturbating, determined to be superior always fighting or abusing or driving the weak into atrocities. so amusing. their real greatest pleasure isn't sex my dears. its power of course. and what do they want power for? oh to be as cruel as possible; that being true pleasure. and so all their religions which teach and support these moronic louts are gays; as are they.
think. a religion which keeps slavery, sexual commerce, cruelty, is it not evil? against all women? so its not YOUR religion, is it? they keep trying to subsume the truth.so priests wear skirts and are very wicked to children. all gurus the same; you indian mothers never send your daughters to them because they wiil be raped the first day and burnt for 'their' sin the next. so all these relgions christianity, judaism, islam, buddhism, and in some ways the worst; hindism...you see at once its not about god. its about maintaning their dominance. but if they were truly superior they ewould neither need to nor want to; and if they did why that way? brutality, injustice, mob threatenings of these women they reckon are 'weak'and therefore are no threat to them? you see at once these gods [who are either lying monstrosities; jesus, moses, mohammed, buddha] or plain fantasies [virtually all the ancient pantheons including that rubbish still rubbishing the minds in india]; are not teaching anything. just slavery of women, slavery of this group or that. and yet these morons believe its all 'righteouness'.
you know i saw a picture in the paper? after a tv program about the violence against girls in china. the baby left for days in pain and fear to die in the dark all alone; think thats a me. in the picture a man dressed in a business suit stepping over a newborn girl cring dying in the street. raining. he didn't even look. thats your virtuous male? a civilised man? bet he was talking dirty to some poor bitch on his phone! another me died there i think. millions saw it. and like the pigs they are went on chewing their mounds of grub and gloating on their superiority.
but now you know the truth.i'm a woman one of the old kind too. its women who are the pushers of mankind to evolve, who push out of the caves and the pits, who cry for these children all the world over through all history. so you are the sex who can still love, be kind when you are not poisoned by their 'values' who might even now be worth it.
leave these repellant religions. they are all everyone of them about slavery yes and to gay; who is the evil one.
kill all dark spirits in the womb. so the leaders in this are those who can see? who know all here is the truth?who like me see men as they really are; are sick of trying to live with damn great shambling apes? and more. the children sacrificed in all history were nearly all girls. they burned them in those tophets. alive. to get boys! so you see how mad it is. never again consult any man on the subject of morals. ethics. or god. because all they teach is gays shit; and now you see what it is. babies who die before they see the light of day in the spirit world have all this time been devoured by these evil ones. alive. these your gods. all male. so what you do each time you abort a dark one in your womb is send him out to endure that himself! which may stop them doing it. and set this your world bit by bit free of these evil shits.
but also i want you from now on to reverse the behaviour they have demanded of you for years. you abort boys. as many as are got on you you from now on introduce to that bucket. toot suite. why not? do you not realise you have been murdered, by your mothers, because the men insisted on saving money? for hundreds of years. what if they scream its wrong? strange how suddenly its wrong when this morning your daughter was sliced to bits in your belly and then it was okay? and what about money? the truth is girls only get dresses;cheap crap too, when they are sold into marriage.since they are never educated they therefore cost less than boys. true. and you all know it. the dowry is a male invention. just stop doing it. if a man loves her he won't think of money anyway. and never again allow your daughters to be forced to marry some creep of the 'fathers' acquaintance. she will suffer horribly for years. just as you did. they tell you women must pay for sins done in the past? which sins? these? when do the men pay. oh never. they are sinless? yet have forced this murderous antimorality on all of you for centuries. or isn't that a sin? sorry i am god. and i say it is. so from now on kill you the boys. to keep the species going you only need a few hundred for harvesting; they need not be conscious. i say to you be humane; cruelty is their thing not yours. but they have become monsters. they CAN'T love they CAN'T be kind. to pity they respond by using it to get what they want. which as always, sex and money. so sick and vile and leprous are these morons they must be culled. or you can go on with their mindless wars, their repulsive unlove sex, their dirt, their vile inhumane religions,your own slavery.
and its no good being kind to them. it means to them you are weak. pity they use. love? oh its a female disease; useful to get sex. so liars they all are, too small and nasty to know anymore what a man was meant to be. which lest they argue; was NOT A FUCKING MONKEY.
so women stick to each other. forget your racist shit. thats their shit. those of women who harm other women or try to ape men as if apemen were called to be gods; these also the rest of you destroy. because we have had enough of male muck to make all of us ill forever. so we stop them. why not? isn't their contempt all about how women are weak?not killers? well lets show them we can. if thats their superiority why then we aere definitely as good as they are! pigs.
and to the gods also the game is up. they know now they have been living in a torn and tortured universe. but good came first. all these laws gay breaks; you see they are good? so god and good are original? as are the Female. Anattas is Queen. She was first. the female spirits out there still great are the twelve amors of seabreeze. the female highers in his lower march. the ladygods of the eagles; soon to be back i hope. my own kids now been shown how to grow up. and me, libertas, and kay. from now on the only gods i allow to grow great shall all be female. the rulers at last in their right place. there must be others. the lowly females out there were defrauded; now we all put that right.
think. no wars. ever. nature left to be nature, yet also cared for? cities safe for us? no more sex industry [either legal marriage or prostitution] no more ridiculous castes or class. no more ridiculous politics, money not our bane, but gone to dust with them? for money is just a convention, a disease or addiction they have taught us. wicked bullying women ashamed at last? think of the mothers in law who beat their lessers! acting as the jailors of their fellow women for these sad sick men? all stopped.
it can all be done in a few years. start.
Thursday 25 March 2010
wiping them out will be so cool.
yes i have been thinking of what it all means. and have worked out what to do. get back up to my original estate; but now full-grown, angry. wise? yes. kill them all who live. they don't have any real existence on their own. have never helped me in any way. the sheep adore the monster who destroys them the wolves exactly the same. i hate them all. and here what are they? brainless trash who everywhere are nasty to anyone weaker than they. always me. enough. i started my effort to wipe them all out of existence today. they are all parasites on me; yet weren't clever enough to give me pleasant lives, nice things. i have recalled everything. that makes me god again; as i was. whether grown or just somehow there they all have used me. and i can see where and to whaty all are going. since i am the only good and all they can ever get is more and more suffering forever, i do my duty by us all. wipe them all out. live with me's only and after a very long time maybe call out again those who have earned freedom. citizenship. by hatred of cruelty. its the only mark i will ever accept. i loved all of you once. never again. a child would not understand in the beginning. it was all a cheat. the evil wanted to have a god who would make all good and pleasant. but also be used as a weapon. as you see i was suckered into everything or forced. now ALL of you are monsters. so die and be not. so gay has had me in terrible hells all this time. those who saw didn't care. at bottom he hoped for all time to either rule all and make every living thing be suffering in hell. or if found out he would still have had me; torturing me and murdering me over and over for all time. because i was good. and nobody at any time worked it out? i don't believe that. so you all know and are his willing creatures. yes insects. and how happy are they? well soon you will be able to ask them.
so firstly i thank the king. as he judged me all corruptly now i judge him all true and straight. and damn him not. but his fate is terrible just the same. you can all thank him too.
perhaps its time now to describe exactly the kings doings. and what i see is to become of it.
well i don't know when but i found myself walking in some lonely place of spirits. i knew nothing. satan approached me with a strange man; a fairer man in those days. i was scared but kept quiet. as a brightsider i had no power even to argue for fair treatment. this man stuck a black thing like a grapnel into my stomach. they laughed saying i would know what it did soon. enslave me i knew right off. he said if i got out of it the second one would be worse. then they walked off laughing at my pain. and that is the first time i ever met the king.
the second time must have been r2, because a friend called humphries must have asked me to his flat. he had just come to work at westmoor. i knew he was into witchcraft but not how deep. anyway i loved this friend. so i went. he told me a friend was staying with him who was rto be very important to me; his naame brent spiner. a famous actor he said. but don't talk about spiders. i said i would never remember such a weird name. anyhow he introduced us. this brent spiner then had brown hair but i know we must have been in r2 because his eyes were white.
anyway he was very snotty and stand-offish but not because i wasn't rich but because he saw me as an enemy. so i guess i knew he was a dark; but somehow it didn't matter. he managed to get lost downstairs. three times i went looking for him. then he walked out of his room, so the whole thing was a test. and when he tried to turn the talk to spiders i resisted. anyhow he said he would come to give me a chance? i said he might find some surprises. when i went to sleep it must have been forced because he stood over me and noticed my resistance. but then i dreamed of the attic. he walked me back to my bed; plainly and obviously aware he was with an angel or similar, yet no kindness in him. he did say however that my mental state was abnormal. of course it was. he'd just done to me what gay did; threaten me with salvation as bad or worse than the other thing!
in the morning steve showed me his car. big siver job; reg omg? oh my god i joked. steve told me to make a phone call to where he worked by a certain time or be lost. they make these rules in r2/3 bknowing people forget as soon as they back in r1. but i remembered altho gay tried to block me i did it. so i knew he would return.
months later of course it had all gone from my head. i was working upstairs in westmoor. and i knew he was there. went down. sat on a coffeetable. same man walks i from the garden. and i, not he, lifted us all into r3. he said 'ahem. can you come?' i looked askance. ahem he goes, can you er come'? so i realised this mindless git was asking me if i was able in bed. yes, i said, bloody great long ones. whats it to you?
in the ensuing conversation i told him to be my lover; but that to get all he wanted he must ask for something greater. i remember we had a game of increasing sizes. he was shocked i was better than he. i said; i'm a good god. you shall not o'ercrow me, nor i you. little did i guess the full extent of his perfidy. he was not coming to give me either justice or evil salvation but only to desytroy. to be properly damned i suppose. so gay raped dharma. mary. jesus. muedered my spirit.. caused me to slay the poor eagles. and this witless wonder must have found i was the good; and so i must be ruined and annoyed. for his own salvation. anyway he went off promising to be back. i told him he would get nothing of the passion we agreed on until my teeth were fixed. and now never at all. since he didn't really want that anyway. i remember i said to him; i will give you your hearts desire. but you will be surprised at it. anyway off he went. back we all to r1...io didn't remember long. i don't. gay has ruined me more than most is why.
a few months later back inwestmoor again. went downstairs not knowing anything. talked to derek; who was doing his false weeping. told derek if he was in hell to call me and i'd come get him out. why would ileave you insduch a nasty place i said. then tony called me over. there were two men there. a tall black haired man i kbnew at once was false. and this other. tall, his hair white suddenly, eyes deep blue. nice smile. watching me with intense interest but had a trick of being one wityh the wall so i hadn't seen him. he said his name' brent spiner. i asked if he was canadian;'he said he was texan. i said he should sue his mother about that name; he said his name was his own doing. we laughed. tony kept walking righht through me which is not very nice and then started moaning about accounnts so i dismissed him back to the office where he was back in r1 and knew nothing. you see i was becoming god? but hadn't realised. as this man can't have believed or why not run? he didn't the power being really his.
so as we joked about the virgin mary [i said no wonder she was virgin;terrible atitude] and so on, i knew he was beginning to love me as women do. suddenly he asked me to marry him. by this time i was fully a gentle; the old one straight from the time of the death of the good eagle. though he only knew of the one. i was so surprised i nearly fell off the chair. i told him [as that lord gentle] in 590 billion years no-one ever asked that before. so he asked me again. i established he meant not christian marriage. no, he said, the hieros gamos. i had heard of it. i thought in a limited way we could do it. and so we agreed to be wed. but he asked a third time, because what happened happpened next obn two levels at once. the other bgentles made themselves known. and out of me stepped my other self. then the other. now one is the girl who bore so much for me in the attic. i called her daisybrain for she is simplee. the other is the child who gay did it all to. she is called 'another planet'...daisybrain looked about 14 vyears...the other lets call me zog its shorter a kid of 5 or so. daisybrain examined him carefullly. she liked his ears, his eyes, a noble brow; his hands, she looked into him; knew as i did not that he was hiding a lot and yet was a nice man. she said 'for my part i see no reason why this marriage cannot be made'..
and the lords bowed because she too is god. then she retired to watch i think. the child came down. being told all the way down;be gentle be polite be nice. so i looked on him the first man i ever saw after gay. i liked him but was shy. casting in my mind i wanted to make sure her could wed and also know i liked him. well i was 5 you know. so i laid my hand on what i thought was his knee and said; and is your weapon well? which healed everything that was ever wrong with the man instantly in rather a good way. i meant no ill. being god can sometimes be alarming. but i was charmed; altho a bit surprised, actually i thought he was dead. it was then i saw all these very small satanic types behind him. he came back with a will in his eye and said; this is the one for me! also that he was very well thank you. yes i reckon he was, but i knew his kbnees wobbled for a week. and then off he went with all these others and went. only just remembering to write a phone number down on an empty pkt of fags. well that was just stupid. i kept it a while but then knew not why. so out it went. oh yes each time he tells me he works for the nhs in various ways.
but on other levels a lot happened. that false jesus i knocked him down and threw him out. then he was judging me all the time. when i proved nice which must have been a lot that one woul;d be summoned by some emergency and leave. now i know he calmly watched everyone of the be murdered. for that is the real rule. the good are to be destroyed. which this fool did.
so i was jehovah;yet not. cast out jesus as false. which he is; as i have tiold you elsewhere. told this man about me and allah. then finally he damned [saved] me on the grounds that i once told a lie. in fact now i'm all intact it was the wrong lie. the fibs of a child in school are nothing to the other one! anyway a child again i made sure i was damned the right way. yes he said swetly. gave me an ugly cup which i knew to drink from would make me as he. in fact tony gave it me; so he was back. in fact i told this man if he was gays creature i would kill hiom as you see he is, and also that gay awould be near. later as i went to the kitchen to drink from the cup it was dashed from my hands with such force he was shocked. such is gays hatred, anyway i looked at hinm in despair. now you see? i said to him. even when i do all i can i am never acceptd. its not satan you know its gay the real god. who is gay he asked? my father and your perpeptual murderer i said. but you will know thats true far too late. this must have been r3.
so last the gentles came together; and i showed him i was god. but thats not true i think, what he saw then i am programmed to display; and i saw his hate and envy. yet loved him.
so off they went. and it was all forgot by me in about 20 minutes. but i have now this thing? months later remembering. what triggered it was seeing him, on the bus. he looked different; i didn't know anything. but saw him do the one thing needful. he pitied me. real pity, unforced, genuine. of course gay saw it too., anyway students you know the rest. i saw him very often but always in disgiuse. buses, trains, once he even came here.
but you understand whats happpened? elohim came here too. my fantastic deadly war began. first to remember it all. from the beginning. what made it go was this terrible love i had for this king. yet every attempt he made i did nothing. its gay of course. and also himself. he wants me to obey him. i want truth; he must be himself. or we both die one way or the other. anyway i prayed el to take it away; he did, and all that love was addiction; that grapnel thing. last time round i let the universe be destroyed if only i might see him. but never did. so here we are i have released us all from the repeting nick, its now or never these darkside chumps help me help them. as you see he never will now. and that constant lying...is there two? i think not. so i love him not. find that i am god.
and from here on make you all extinct. for all of you are monsters. gays things. its mercy; but you are grown too vile to know it. but mercy for me too. well its time i knew mercy; even if all i can do is live forever alone. its better than living with you.
so thats really judgement. you are damned for your goodness. your judge is a devil, a liar, a man trying to be a son of the evil most high. he loved me and still does; so now the truth is out. judge your judges, oh man. kill them all, these dark fiends. if you don't i will. and forget you all. yet never again forget i anything.
so you see as you destroy me all good leaves with me. that leaves you monsters in hell. or i win, and you lot fade into the dust you are. and thank me as you do you trash. for my biggest sin is that i am not cruel as you are and always have been.
so now go and thank your king.
so firstly i thank the king. as he judged me all corruptly now i judge him all true and straight. and damn him not. but his fate is terrible just the same. you can all thank him too.
perhaps its time now to describe exactly the kings doings. and what i see is to become of it.
well i don't know when but i found myself walking in some lonely place of spirits. i knew nothing. satan approached me with a strange man; a fairer man in those days. i was scared but kept quiet. as a brightsider i had no power even to argue for fair treatment. this man stuck a black thing like a grapnel into my stomach. they laughed saying i would know what it did soon. enslave me i knew right off. he said if i got out of it the second one would be worse. then they walked off laughing at my pain. and that is the first time i ever met the king.
the second time must have been r2, because a friend called humphries must have asked me to his flat. he had just come to work at westmoor. i knew he was into witchcraft but not how deep. anyway i loved this friend. so i went. he told me a friend was staying with him who was rto be very important to me; his naame brent spiner. a famous actor he said. but don't talk about spiders. i said i would never remember such a weird name. anyhow he introduced us. this brent spiner then had brown hair but i know we must have been in r2 because his eyes were white.
anyway he was very snotty and stand-offish but not because i wasn't rich but because he saw me as an enemy. so i guess i knew he was a dark; but somehow it didn't matter. he managed to get lost downstairs. three times i went looking for him. then he walked out of his room, so the whole thing was a test. and when he tried to turn the talk to spiders i resisted. anyhow he said he would come to give me a chance? i said he might find some surprises. when i went to sleep it must have been forced because he stood over me and noticed my resistance. but then i dreamed of the attic. he walked me back to my bed; plainly and obviously aware he was with an angel or similar, yet no kindness in him. he did say however that my mental state was abnormal. of course it was. he'd just done to me what gay did; threaten me with salvation as bad or worse than the other thing!
in the morning steve showed me his car. big siver job; reg omg? oh my god i joked. steve told me to make a phone call to where he worked by a certain time or be lost. they make these rules in r2/3 bknowing people forget as soon as they back in r1. but i remembered altho gay tried to block me i did it. so i knew he would return.
months later of course it had all gone from my head. i was working upstairs in westmoor. and i knew he was there. went down. sat on a coffeetable. same man walks i from the garden. and i, not he, lifted us all into r3. he said 'ahem. can you come?' i looked askance. ahem he goes, can you er come'? so i realised this mindless git was asking me if i was able in bed. yes, i said, bloody great long ones. whats it to you?
in the ensuing conversation i told him to be my lover; but that to get all he wanted he must ask for something greater. i remember we had a game of increasing sizes. he was shocked i was better than he. i said; i'm a good god. you shall not o'ercrow me, nor i you. little did i guess the full extent of his perfidy. he was not coming to give me either justice or evil salvation but only to desytroy. to be properly damned i suppose. so gay raped dharma. mary. jesus. muedered my spirit.. caused me to slay the poor eagles. and this witless wonder must have found i was the good; and so i must be ruined and annoyed. for his own salvation. anyway he went off promising to be back. i told him he would get nothing of the passion we agreed on until my teeth were fixed. and now never at all. since he didn't really want that anyway. i remember i said to him; i will give you your hearts desire. but you will be surprised at it. anyway off he went. back we all to r1...io didn't remember long. i don't. gay has ruined me more than most is why.
a few months later back inwestmoor again. went downstairs not knowing anything. talked to derek; who was doing his false weeping. told derek if he was in hell to call me and i'd come get him out. why would ileave you insduch a nasty place i said. then tony called me over. there were two men there. a tall black haired man i kbnew at once was false. and this other. tall, his hair white suddenly, eyes deep blue. nice smile. watching me with intense interest but had a trick of being one wityh the wall so i hadn't seen him. he said his name' brent spiner. i asked if he was canadian;'he said he was texan. i said he should sue his mother about that name; he said his name was his own doing. we laughed. tony kept walking righht through me which is not very nice and then started moaning about accounnts so i dismissed him back to the office where he was back in r1 and knew nothing. you see i was becoming god? but hadn't realised. as this man can't have believed or why not run? he didn't the power being really his.
so as we joked about the virgin mary [i said no wonder she was virgin;terrible atitude] and so on, i knew he was beginning to love me as women do. suddenly he asked me to marry him. by this time i was fully a gentle; the old one straight from the time of the death of the good eagle. though he only knew of the one. i was so surprised i nearly fell off the chair. i told him [as that lord gentle] in 590 billion years no-one ever asked that before. so he asked me again. i established he meant not christian marriage. no, he said, the hieros gamos. i had heard of it. i thought in a limited way we could do it. and so we agreed to be wed. but he asked a third time, because what happened happpened next obn two levels at once. the other bgentles made themselves known. and out of me stepped my other self. then the other. now one is the girl who bore so much for me in the attic. i called her daisybrain for she is simplee. the other is the child who gay did it all to. she is called 'another planet'...daisybrain looked about 14 vyears...the other lets call me zog its shorter a kid of 5 or so. daisybrain examined him carefullly. she liked his ears, his eyes, a noble brow; his hands, she looked into him; knew as i did not that he was hiding a lot and yet was a nice man. she said 'for my part i see no reason why this marriage cannot be made'..
and the lords bowed because she too is god. then she retired to watch i think. the child came down. being told all the way down;be gentle be polite be nice. so i looked on him the first man i ever saw after gay. i liked him but was shy. casting in my mind i wanted to make sure her could wed and also know i liked him. well i was 5 you know. so i laid my hand on what i thought was his knee and said; and is your weapon well? which healed everything that was ever wrong with the man instantly in rather a good way. i meant no ill. being god can sometimes be alarming. but i was charmed; altho a bit surprised, actually i thought he was dead. it was then i saw all these very small satanic types behind him. he came back with a will in his eye and said; this is the one for me! also that he was very well thank you. yes i reckon he was, but i knew his kbnees wobbled for a week. and then off he went with all these others and went. only just remembering to write a phone number down on an empty pkt of fags. well that was just stupid. i kept it a while but then knew not why. so out it went. oh yes each time he tells me he works for the nhs in various ways.
but on other levels a lot happened. that false jesus i knocked him down and threw him out. then he was judging me all the time. when i proved nice which must have been a lot that one woul;d be summoned by some emergency and leave. now i know he calmly watched everyone of the be murdered. for that is the real rule. the good are to be destroyed. which this fool did.
so i was jehovah;yet not. cast out jesus as false. which he is; as i have tiold you elsewhere. told this man about me and allah. then finally he damned [saved] me on the grounds that i once told a lie. in fact now i'm all intact it was the wrong lie. the fibs of a child in school are nothing to the other one! anyway a child again i made sure i was damned the right way. yes he said swetly. gave me an ugly cup which i knew to drink from would make me as he. in fact tony gave it me; so he was back. in fact i told this man if he was gays creature i would kill hiom as you see he is, and also that gay awould be near. later as i went to the kitchen to drink from the cup it was dashed from my hands with such force he was shocked. such is gays hatred, anyway i looked at hinm in despair. now you see? i said to him. even when i do all i can i am never acceptd. its not satan you know its gay the real god. who is gay he asked? my father and your perpeptual murderer i said. but you will know thats true far too late. this must have been r3.
so last the gentles came together; and i showed him i was god. but thats not true i think, what he saw then i am programmed to display; and i saw his hate and envy. yet loved him.
so off they went. and it was all forgot by me in about 20 minutes. but i have now this thing? months later remembering. what triggered it was seeing him, on the bus. he looked different; i didn't know anything. but saw him do the one thing needful. he pitied me. real pity, unforced, genuine. of course gay saw it too., anyway students you know the rest. i saw him very often but always in disgiuse. buses, trains, once he even came here.
but you understand whats happpened? elohim came here too. my fantastic deadly war began. first to remember it all. from the beginning. what made it go was this terrible love i had for this king. yet every attempt he made i did nothing. its gay of course. and also himself. he wants me to obey him. i want truth; he must be himself. or we both die one way or the other. anyway i prayed el to take it away; he did, and all that love was addiction; that grapnel thing. last time round i let the universe be destroyed if only i might see him. but never did. so here we are i have released us all from the repeting nick, its now or never these darkside chumps help me help them. as you see he never will now. and that constant lying...is there two? i think not. so i love him not. find that i am god.
and from here on make you all extinct. for all of you are monsters. gays things. its mercy; but you are grown too vile to know it. but mercy for me too. well its time i knew mercy; even if all i can do is live forever alone. its better than living with you.
so thats really judgement. you are damned for your goodness. your judge is a devil, a liar, a man trying to be a son of the evil most high. he loved me and still does; so now the truth is out. judge your judges, oh man. kill them all, these dark fiends. if you don't i will. and forget you all. yet never again forget i anything.
so you see as you destroy me all good leaves with me. that leaves you monsters in hell. or i win, and you lot fade into the dust you are. and thank me as you do you trash. for my biggest sin is that i am not cruel as you are and always have been.
so now go and thank your king.
Sunday 7 March 2010
happy is always me
i am always happy nowadays. i can't think why. i was never a depressive anyway. but i've had a lot of troubles over the years. so i think happiness is the natural default state? not just me but of all alive? all you do is jettison the worst problems? in my case respectively my relatives [but not all] and a bad husband. live somewhere secure; make it reasonably comfortable. work at a job where u are respected' even loved. don't have huge money ambitions. have several intelligent interests in life. a little family of your own [but not too close, have some peace yourself]. and thats it, all you need. and the result is that you're happy. the main thing is to understand the universe you're living in and decide you are better than that. and live your life! as you see it a good life. mine is. and so i'm always happy; even though i have terible spirit attacks every so often. happiness is the normal state. and i'm proof that it is.
how very annoyed gay must be...
how very annoyed gay must be...
Saturday 6 March 2010
i have started!
today isa gentle day. its crisply cold out; but the sky is blue, the sunshine bright. i went to croydon and got my new topcat laptop n seagate external hardrive. tuesday camera n software arrive. next week classes start in earnest. and Cat In The Hat film productions ltd is now a real legal entity. and i asked them [nbri] to join up scarletfish. com too. so from monday in business. also going to sort out a podcast platform; and move this blog to website? not sure. but podcasts will hopefully be quirky satirical views/or comic chapters?? well not everything i do HAS to be serious. apart from that start gearing up to do first 'own films'...and also start collecting funds for 'homeward bound'. i will know when i'm getting better at it. not 'traffic stats' the bbc will list me! then i will concern myself with stats.
right. time for my bath. and finish off 'PYRHAA'S VICTORY'.
right. time for my bath. and finish off 'PYRHAA'S VICTORY'.
Thursday 4 March 2010
cor blimey
i discovered a lady on facebook the other day. she's married to the youngest v/k. its such a relief to say something about gay and someone understands! knows its true! all my life i had no-one. my mother my jailor, my sister and brother hidden darks. i could never go near the v-ks because i thought they were all in it. but i was wrong. her husband 'A' is also haunted by gays hideous cruelty and wickedness. but he doesn't know what gay did with me. none of them do. but i'm the most crippled; but so is poor 'A'...and he didn't know who to tell either. when i've tried to tell doctors [anything at all; no matter how tiny] i just got laughed at, or cast out, or locked up. thats why gay chose this time/culture. the world is full of shitheads who just refuse to know anything. so a and myself and poor c [who died in 1998 but the darks told no-one] areall crippled by that thing; and none of us could get any help or even anyone to tell. i have never told kez much; in case she is harmed. its 1 reason why i tell in this blog. so man can know whats happened, how and who and why. and fight back! i pray you to find each other + stick together. meet gay alone and thats your utter destruction. because you will not understand he isn't human. or even vaguely humane. he will put you ALL in hells forever. because he is infinitely cruel; and by that be god. well its taken all these years to understand i was not alone in refusing him, being forced to do terrible things out there. c, a, me...and maybe l is another.
isn't it awful? my brothers and sisters. but because some are darks and just as cruel and dangerous; we all 3 did the same. avoided each other, tried to live normal lives. and could not. for me its permanent. i really think no-one could recover fom all that. but now i see a at least is safe; i've got someone to talk to!!
isn't it awful? my brothers and sisters. but because some are darks and just as cruel and dangerous; we all 3 did the same. avoided each other, tried to live normal lives. and could not. for me its permanent. i really think no-one could recover fom all that. but now i see a at least is safe; i've got someone to talk to!!
Wednesday 3 March 2010
for love is the stranger
for love is the stranger, who beckons you on... that song again. don't think of the danger; or the stranger is gone...
so i just forgive someone a lifelong conduct which he must have begun long ago. and now can't handle it himself. yet in r1 doesn 't know!! do i pay for his sins? i dunno. but somebody somewhere has to start forgiving; has to get a bigger heart n try. the truth is there was never real forgiveness in the universe. under gay how could there be? the evil can't and the good only claim they have when they seek fame-of-sanctity. if you carefully read jesus you see he forgives no-one; he but claims or asks 'the father' to forgive. gay of course being a moral imbecile hates it. one reason is that he runs karma as a kind of profit n loss account? so you hav to keep 'paying your debts'? which is always suffering. which of course is what he likes best. but there is NO 'karmic debt' we live all these millions of lives because he makes us. after so long all believe it is right; but now you see it is utterly wrong. we were all gods greater or lesser long ago. i look at people, spirits now; you are all of you much more brutish now. so no improvements, just uin of what was. in any case consider how mad it is. you pay foe sins; but they are as likely to be good deeds as crimes you know. in the end i worked it out. what you are really paying for is life itself. or don't you know his idea is that life is evil spelt backwards? so life is evil? then by living you make your 'debt' the more huge, so its all damnation again, isn't it? and now you know he is NOT god but some kind of disgusting parasite from perhaps some other time/place, whyever will you go on with it? and that brings me to gays actual status.
who can he be? where or when did he originate? i know he has lived very few 'lives'' pythagoras is one, some other greek about the time of orpheus. we know he said he lived in atlantis. we know he is not a being or person as we. he never came out of anat; which is why he fears them, calling it second death. and yet according to the king anat is also invaded by them [darksiders]. well in that case where am i going in my frequent deaths? for it can't be the same state? so at a guess; you know however far back i go gay appears always the same? tall, dark. thin sallow face. cruel nose to mouth lines, black eyes? and always around late middle age. these are the few things he told me. 1. he had no mother, and i do see a thing like a flaccid wet fleshy sac, in some dark place far back in time. he said he'd devoured his overself and his guru in india. but my impression is he ate his overs in the far past. but if he had overs at all that places him in seabreezes creation. whereas right back in the most distant past there he is; exactly the same. so we know he used my 'forced up to be god powers' for time travel? but that is not possible; god a child? no it can't be that. also those study/kitchens? he stays in them out of sight being a wizrad. that is he has white paper like things with faint etchings on them and shelves with all little statuettes of gods black and white? and made me choose 1. so he said 'my name is old glory' ans snickered. and now i know why. gay puts those in heaven afire. so for him fire equals glory. those who demand to be made like stars or shining get their wish. so if he calls himself old glory he was telling me he had once been damned and was burning; wasn't he? so since when i was 18 months old he also pulled his nose open and there inside his head was heaven. you can dwell in there he said. but i looked and saw it was all fiery and refused. it was hell of course. gay never gives anybody anything else; though the darksiders because of the power and pleasures think he has. but they will remember agreeing with him a time? what happens to them after time is the same as the rejects. so gay then must be the original Devil, and the prime cause and source of all evil in our universe. so we guess there must have been another universe, long long ago. and the god of the place damned him and somehow he either escaped or was victor. and came to us in first place and decided to take everyone alive he could; for to ruin nd torture. so this creature is the secret god who began smallish and bit by bit built his empire; to a large exent using my spirit to do it. i remember long ago satan [he was new then] not understanding why gay ruled over him. he confided in me that gay was the more powerful. i knew then that it was something to do with me; but not what. so you see satan also hates him. but gods are like people. they are people. so whenever gay appears they are welcoming. they hide their vehement desire to kill him. but i will not hide anything. let him destroy me! its better than the other. so i kep trying to bring him down. because on earth his powers are liited; by our earth density of matter. so while i live we fight. when i die it will be very bad; but he was going to do that anyway. no difference then if i kep mum or blast the truth out. so i blast. someday another one will arise and get that bastard. who knows? i might get him myself! never give up i say to his never say die. but i wish the gods of wherever he began had of been man enough to kill the fucker and have done. wonder what happened to them? and now i have told both satan and yetzoah what gay does to them exercising his power; to keep them in ever increasing fear without knowing why. so this is gays fatal reliance on just the one trick. he makes everyone forget. so what we all do and pronto is use every technique we have to remember. you see i have. its bad. very bad. but you won't have to remember quite as much as me. also when you do recall there are others of YOU; both higher and lower. don't be surprised to meet another you. though that will be on r3 or above if it does happen. that is why the king is such a puzzle. the king seems to be twice in r1.
at any rate you see our GOD and the DEVIL are one and the same? now you see why your white religions are all cruel and exclusive and in their moral deas silly or useless or hating women or giving the lowly male too much power? 'love is a stranger?'...the answer is this. i am the last little bit left of what more nearly is a good god. i cannot look at ALLin this or that religion and say; you are saved. i cannot look at ALL in every other cult and say; they are the damned. how stupid do you think i am? i look at all people; saying well that is what you thought was true; but what did you DO or NOT DO? i will not ask did you eat pork; but did you murder or steal? why? and have you been remorseful, done what you could to restore the balance of the universe; your heart and your brothers heart? so i will love a nice person who cares what his belief are; except he has overcome cruelty which is whgat evil IS?. and because the darksiders are all very nasty do i automaticaly condemn? you see i used to. but now try not; what real choice or chance did they have? its not forgiveness. let each ask when he feels remorse. but at least let them alone. knowing as i do what they been paying from day 1 of their 'salvation' and always will. as the good too. if there are any. so we all in this together. its war. well it would e wih that thing in the high places. so anyway thats all i know for sure about gay. and there aren't any good gods no. all alike are dark. even el has given me clues; he can do evil. yes. all out there try to survive. laws of the jungle out there. so next time some god tries to make out moral laws to you ASK HIM WHAT LAW DOES HE KEEP? and watch him leave.
so the real saints are; murderes, torturers, rapists, any unclean thing. the truly damned are your sillly 'saints' they gennerally get et; but the biggies like buddha and vivek fihure this all out and try to cancel themselves out/? so how good were they to leave so many helpless inthat things grip? well i tired again.
anyway i did think to finish a bit more on passion. for one thing it is very rare. even when people fall in love its nearly always one but not the other. or the other feels not so strongly. usually even in free societies people hardly ever get to marry the people they love/who in love with them. it seems peole nearly always marry someone they comfortable with; or who seems to fulfil their fantasy. but of course thats nearly always a mistake. someone who deliberately plays to your fantasy can't fulfill them. and won't even pretend to once the service is over. so mutual romantic love is unusual anyway. but passion it is the next level up so to speak. and in fact is even rarer, and subject to the same chance. but now i say something which is right. if it should happen for you take it with both hands! do not try to trap it, this passion, in marriage. yes i speak to women as to men. marriage is its oppositeand wuill strangle it. also passion of this order is not a thing i think can ever happen to the very young? i thinkm its for the mature in spirit. i do not say it can't but i have never heard of it. its very intense. yes the couple may fight, its powerful stuff. but studied spites? beatings? absolutely not. its the spirits way of sudden growing up. violence and cruelty by nature reduce, brutalize? so have but little place here. and also its short lived. it ends always in great friendship or terrible grief. but never indifference; that being the end of 'romantic or wedded love' but not this. this is the rare phoenix in splendour. and from now on all you who learn can wait for it; knowing what it is. the spirit in each connecting the male and female principles; you are both of you simply growing up. and a wild ride it is! and lastly do not enslave each other, nor let the boring moralists near. if you would learn to be gods this is one way. religion will try to contriol or destroy this. well do you think gay wants anyone to love like this? so know your enemy in passion is the fool who fears it. xxx
so i just forgive someone a lifelong conduct which he must have begun long ago. and now can't handle it himself. yet in r1 doesn 't know!! do i pay for his sins? i dunno. but somebody somewhere has to start forgiving; has to get a bigger heart n try. the truth is there was never real forgiveness in the universe. under gay how could there be? the evil can't and the good only claim they have when they seek fame-of-sanctity. if you carefully read jesus you see he forgives no-one; he but claims or asks 'the father' to forgive. gay of course being a moral imbecile hates it. one reason is that he runs karma as a kind of profit n loss account? so you hav to keep 'paying your debts'? which is always suffering. which of course is what he likes best. but there is NO 'karmic debt' we live all these millions of lives because he makes us. after so long all believe it is right; but now you see it is utterly wrong. we were all gods greater or lesser long ago. i look at people, spirits now; you are all of you much more brutish now. so no improvements, just uin of what was. in any case consider how mad it is. you pay foe sins; but they are as likely to be good deeds as crimes you know. in the end i worked it out. what you are really paying for is life itself. or don't you know his idea is that life is evil spelt backwards? so life is evil? then by living you make your 'debt' the more huge, so its all damnation again, isn't it? and now you know he is NOT god but some kind of disgusting parasite from perhaps some other time/place, whyever will you go on with it? and that brings me to gays actual status.
who can he be? where or when did he originate? i know he has lived very few 'lives'' pythagoras is one, some other greek about the time of orpheus. we know he said he lived in atlantis. we know he is not a being or person as we. he never came out of anat; which is why he fears them, calling it second death. and yet according to the king anat is also invaded by them [darksiders]. well in that case where am i going in my frequent deaths? for it can't be the same state? so at a guess; you know however far back i go gay appears always the same? tall, dark. thin sallow face. cruel nose to mouth lines, black eyes? and always around late middle age. these are the few things he told me. 1. he had no mother, and i do see a thing like a flaccid wet fleshy sac, in some dark place far back in time. he said he'd devoured his overself and his guru in india. but my impression is he ate his overs in the far past. but if he had overs at all that places him in seabreezes creation. whereas right back in the most distant past there he is; exactly the same. so we know he used my 'forced up to be god powers' for time travel? but that is not possible; god a child? no it can't be that. also those study/kitchens? he stays in them out of sight being a wizrad. that is he has white paper like things with faint etchings on them and shelves with all little statuettes of gods black and white? and made me choose 1. so he said 'my name is old glory' ans snickered. and now i know why. gay puts those in heaven afire. so for him fire equals glory. those who demand to be made like stars or shining get their wish. so if he calls himself old glory he was telling me he had once been damned and was burning; wasn't he? so since when i was 18 months old he also pulled his nose open and there inside his head was heaven. you can dwell in there he said. but i looked and saw it was all fiery and refused. it was hell of course. gay never gives anybody anything else; though the darksiders because of the power and pleasures think he has. but they will remember agreeing with him a time? what happens to them after time is the same as the rejects. so gay then must be the original Devil, and the prime cause and source of all evil in our universe. so we guess there must have been another universe, long long ago. and the god of the place damned him and somehow he either escaped or was victor. and came to us in first place and decided to take everyone alive he could; for to ruin nd torture. so this creature is the secret god who began smallish and bit by bit built his empire; to a large exent using my spirit to do it. i remember long ago satan [he was new then] not understanding why gay ruled over him. he confided in me that gay was the more powerful. i knew then that it was something to do with me; but not what. so you see satan also hates him. but gods are like people. they are people. so whenever gay appears they are welcoming. they hide their vehement desire to kill him. but i will not hide anything. let him destroy me! its better than the other. so i kep trying to bring him down. because on earth his powers are liited; by our earth density of matter. so while i live we fight. when i die it will be very bad; but he was going to do that anyway. no difference then if i kep mum or blast the truth out. so i blast. someday another one will arise and get that bastard. who knows? i might get him myself! never give up i say to his never say die. but i wish the gods of wherever he began had of been man enough to kill the fucker and have done. wonder what happened to them? and now i have told both satan and yetzoah what gay does to them exercising his power; to keep them in ever increasing fear without knowing why. so this is gays fatal reliance on just the one trick. he makes everyone forget. so what we all do and pronto is use every technique we have to remember. you see i have. its bad. very bad. but you won't have to remember quite as much as me. also when you do recall there are others of YOU; both higher and lower. don't be surprised to meet another you. though that will be on r3 or above if it does happen. that is why the king is such a puzzle. the king seems to be twice in r1.
at any rate you see our GOD and the DEVIL are one and the same? now you see why your white religions are all cruel and exclusive and in their moral deas silly or useless or hating women or giving the lowly male too much power? 'love is a stranger?'...the answer is this. i am the last little bit left of what more nearly is a good god. i cannot look at ALLin this or that religion and say; you are saved. i cannot look at ALL in every other cult and say; they are the damned. how stupid do you think i am? i look at all people; saying well that is what you thought was true; but what did you DO or NOT DO? i will not ask did you eat pork; but did you murder or steal? why? and have you been remorseful, done what you could to restore the balance of the universe; your heart and your brothers heart? so i will love a nice person who cares what his belief are; except he has overcome cruelty which is whgat evil IS?. and because the darksiders are all very nasty do i automaticaly condemn? you see i used to. but now try not; what real choice or chance did they have? its not forgiveness. let each ask when he feels remorse. but at least let them alone. knowing as i do what they been paying from day 1 of their 'salvation' and always will. as the good too. if there are any. so we all in this together. its war. well it would e wih that thing in the high places. so anyway thats all i know for sure about gay. and there aren't any good gods no. all alike are dark. even el has given me clues; he can do evil. yes. all out there try to survive. laws of the jungle out there. so next time some god tries to make out moral laws to you ASK HIM WHAT LAW DOES HE KEEP? and watch him leave.
so the real saints are; murderes, torturers, rapists, any unclean thing. the truly damned are your sillly 'saints' they gennerally get et; but the biggies like buddha and vivek fihure this all out and try to cancel themselves out/? so how good were they to leave so many helpless inthat things grip? well i tired again.
anyway i did think to finish a bit more on passion. for one thing it is very rare. even when people fall in love its nearly always one but not the other. or the other feels not so strongly. usually even in free societies people hardly ever get to marry the people they love/who in love with them. it seems peole nearly always marry someone they comfortable with; or who seems to fulfil their fantasy. but of course thats nearly always a mistake. someone who deliberately plays to your fantasy can't fulfill them. and won't even pretend to once the service is over. so mutual romantic love is unusual anyway. but passion it is the next level up so to speak. and in fact is even rarer, and subject to the same chance. but now i say something which is right. if it should happen for you take it with both hands! do not try to trap it, this passion, in marriage. yes i speak to women as to men. marriage is its oppositeand wuill strangle it. also passion of this order is not a thing i think can ever happen to the very young? i thinkm its for the mature in spirit. i do not say it can't but i have never heard of it. its very intense. yes the couple may fight, its powerful stuff. but studied spites? beatings? absolutely not. its the spirits way of sudden growing up. violence and cruelty by nature reduce, brutalize? so have but little place here. and also its short lived. it ends always in great friendship or terrible grief. but never indifference; that being the end of 'romantic or wedded love' but not this. this is the rare phoenix in splendour. and from now on all you who learn can wait for it; knowing what it is. the spirit in each connecting the male and female principles; you are both of you simply growing up. and a wild ride it is! and lastly do not enslave each other, nor let the boring moralists near. if you would learn to be gods this is one way. religion will try to contriol or destroy this. well do you think gay wants anyone to love like this? so know your enemy in passion is the fool who fears it. xxx
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