next stop

okay so Gay got six black sea-eagles in their places. six not seven because I was made to kill the Father whose concept was beauty first of them all; even as he was forming. so nothing at all was left of this father. hence only six 'Gods' and when they finally became aware of Gt Father they saw him as an enemy; because Gt Father cannot speak only commune they never realised. So they loom in their darkness angry and cruel. Because the truth is they hate the devils their preferred sons; in their natures they are all six good. So because of Gay and never remembering and all this dark evil they live in they are always angry. They knew not all this. And Gay brought them forth AFTER the great civilisations were wrecked, so they never saw the heavenly places looking right; or they might have twigged. They are perfectly sweet forgiving generous and loyal Gods....but only to the evil. They do allow the' good' near, but make them to have no pleasures. they must stand obediently, never seeing God, knowing they are rubbish...and not even allowed to think. 'to achieve samadhi' and be saved. which of course is stupid and impossible. God is hiding just a little way further in the dark. And these are NOT 'good' at all. they may wear white and look ok but they are vicious, unpleasant; their goodness was dependent on rewards. so they occasionaly get let away from the great halls. And instantly plot and try to ruin the real sons, the devils. So anyway the sea-eagles can make sons out of themselves, give ppl power and abilities. But are either unable or are too vicious to care, to make the heavenly places once more fertile and green and nice. so its all of it sunshiney; but nothing but sand and rocks. so the spirits hunger. And only Gt Father is self-sufficient so these must also eat. And so long ago they. and I think but not sure that all six are within this one creation egg. so the others must be abandoned, the lessers in there probably insane of evil also; but without any knowledge or Gods...like chaos?
And so at some point they determined to build or create Sons who were delivered into ignorance and like computers unaware filled with secret programmes that they should go all wrong, be cast down and made to suffer, and at the last find all their children damned to infinite suffering for the sin of being good. And then the eagles would have eaten them.

So together with their devil sons they built the white Doves. And set them in the lower realities in the lower part of the Egg. And they did this maybe two at a time? Now I've seen all the Doves gathered in one place which was done because I had to see; like a physician? And there are sixteen. Each believed he was God, accepted it with varying degrees of meekness. Had a very minor 'battle of good and evil' in each case just a prickle of cruelty. 15 allowed the prickle of cruelty to fade; and thought they'd won, and that they were good. And planned Paradise,filled with truly good gods and spirits. And each chose his name; and from this point I leave 14 of them because I do not remember their histories; but only two; OUR White Dove, who I called Father Seabreeze when he oned with me in 1983. He shared his memory with me so I know all about him. And the other is his twin, because the sea-eagles did this two at a time though they were unaware of each other. This other I have named General Cruel. Because the conquest of cruelty happened in him. And instantly because he was openly proud and terribly cruel the Fathers undamned him. So he is always successful, horribly cruel; and aware of Father Seabreeze. He allowed Seabreeze to create this huge creation filled with beauty and pleasures and good nice children. But somewhere each Dove betrayed his real underlying nature because none of them made many female spirits except either lowly ones, or a few stately Amors for themselves. And of course my top spirit in this creation is just such an Amor, Rosalind. By the way its me who gives them names. Each spirit needs his father to name him but of course thats never happened except to two. And so General Cruel deliberately fucks up everyone here and ruins everything your White Dove, Seabreeze, made and ordained. Because it is all of it damned under Gay.
So get this right. Its the good who are damned. They have lousy lives, awful deaths, terrifying 'hereafters' and its always, under Gay going to just get worse. Forever. The evil get anything they want, do whatever horrific thing they want and are not only never punished but wind up rich, famous and generally running the place. They are, however, universally hated, because the Doves made enormeous numbers of ppl and they were nearly ALL good in their begining, just as the universe was. It was all in its beginning made with the good as the true inheritors. Know all this and now you see there are Three Systems. The first methods reasons and laws of First Place; which still hold because ours were first, builtin, and over everyone else, and also set all the first precedents. In the spirit lands that which is first or higher affects whatever is lower or comes after. Because this is the realm where chance becomes coincidence and thence to predictable and on to fate; which is what down here transmutes to Laws. The second is the Law of Good, which is everywhere how ppl both highers and lowers were supposed to feel and behave. the first nature. But their natures knowing only purity not love are become too like machines. remember these beings have no famlies, societys, fathers, or lovers. Their talk of love is in vain. Innocent, see? But innocence is damned, its the original sin of the good. Under the Third system, the Law of Evil. Which are the real laws and the rewarded nature. Imposed and violently enforced. Everyone given chances throughout their lives to do as much cruel ugliness as possible, try to be accepted by these evil. And then you get all the goodies.Which is why everywhere ppl try evil, are tempted beyond their strngth, are afflicted with awfully embarrassing perversions etc. They must get themselves undamned of being good and damned properly as evil. which is why no-one can figure it out or control themselves or their fellows. Because it turns all into hell, as you see yourself. And all think if they obey 'good' they shall be happy, but that is a trap. and the seekers discover the rule of evil and destroy themselves and their fellows in order to get to the top; where they believe they will be ok. They do not know Gay. Until I came along, did all that, and then spent the rest of my life finding out what Gay did in that bloody attic.So understand this. The ideas of 'good' we all have, Gods as well, are all of them poisoned. Not exactly false...twisted. Corrupt. Next entry I will explain Seabreezes creation to you, and more history.