happy again

i dunno i always get happy again. mind you with Gay stuck in siritlands, even though i know its all still going on, he's not here....so its easy to be happy.
'lapidiary' finished; its much better.
been looking at Astleys compliation of modern poems 'staying alive' lots of brilliant stuff in it. but they all about this world. for too long i've been shackled to the other place. will mend my ways! but there is a lot of this world stuff which in the long run has no meaning because its too narrow. what i have to aim at is a kind of Salvator Dali style in my poems. that way i can pull the reader into a different consciousness. also be a lot prettier!
also i been researching filming; i can do it but don't want to get masses of expensive equipment thats so far beyond me it proceeds to gather dust for years. so need lessons computers, cameras, sound blah blah... say 6 months. that gives me time to get cash together. then thats it. meantime am filming 'dark room' today....at work, so it depends who i'm on with, an whether pts can be okay while we do it. but its only my first go; so it needn't be perfect. need to catch up notes; this is typical. i read up to 5/6 books an THEN keep notes. thats because i get so involved in text i forget all the world, can't bear to stop just for notes.

and i cleaned this place up beautifully yesterday. took hours. but its nice. i don't want to leave it. but work calls.

well goodbye to Pinkleton. great story; keep working on it! looking forward to publication. will send last feedback tonight. with some thoughts on the spiner/bdms/spy thing.

and i guess its also farewell to Decker...he liked my poems! wherever you go in life, you have supported me, decker. i won't forget. my poetry....well whats proper[some isn't] to be published probably both print and e-book; next year about november. think i might call it 'the singer of the songs of paradise lost'!! hope u read, decker.

rest of you i hope you exist...keep learning. you will need it all.