my first being murdered.

us? well at first i never noticed. the other gods one by one just went off somewhere, according to Gay they went off here or there. we all lived quite a distance from each other. so i believed him. then he called on me to discuss the Godthing. and i drank the cup he gave me. and of course it was poison. now where did he get it? because there were no poisons in First Place. and as the cup rolled on the ground i knew the others were all dead, that this thing was insane, that something terrible had begun. i said to him, but i would have forgiven you. he said, i know. thats why i hate you. so as i died i tried to tell him to go to be healed in Anatta but i couldn't say it, only think it. 'a state which is a place'..then this black stuff poured out of my mouth and i was dead. yet now i see he looked on my sex and also cut out a piece of me. thats all i remember.