another lesson

so i think i will make some advices. you remember i said a good soldier will not stoop to murder even of his vile enemy? but told that girl to use any means to wihstand, drive out or better still kill Gay? i'd better harmonize that in your minds. its this way. she is a child in hell. he is the Devil who everywhere makes Hell. so she must do whatever. it can't be helped, and anyway he really deserves it. but as to soldiers in general. i do not despise soldiery. the armies, all of them, are foul with monstrous bullying. thats one thing they don't tell young men. another is what really happens in battle. yes, you kill, very terribly sometimes, your enemy. but in battle he has the same chance and desire to kill you. what no-one tell these young men i now tell all of you. most killing happens AFTER the battle. it is won, the enemy everywhere throws down their arms. and the victors then take revenge in the most dreadful bloodlust. which can go on for days. and these killings are NOT battle. they are the most dreadful murders you can think of. anyone who tries to stop it before their energy flags will cop it too. so next time you look on your father or uncle look at their eyes as well as their medals. its the ones who won't talk about war who can confirm what i say.

now look you that from now on you tell your sons that unless a war is JUST and the reasons and objectives are clear to all the ppl you simply must not go. be a conscientious objector, be a medic in a war to which you are forced. however, if that war be just. remember this my counsel. Do not allow yourself after battle to systematically and with awful cruelty destroy those your enemies. do not go there that is Gays way, the way of hell. a good soldier is finer than that. so you see i commend a good soldier. in this universe we need them all. but a murderer is worse than the enemy. in fact he has become the enemy.

so thats one thing. another is that someone has asked me who is Gay?

Gay was born in 1913. in india, his father an officer in the Army under the Raj. now he very seldom lives lives. so he must have got himself born especially. his mother was daisy mcgregor, his father one henry tooze. he was born on a tiger hunt somewhere in bareilly, nw india, and all his life his mother feared and hated him so absolutely he was given to an ayah straightway and most of his lessons were given at whatever school was in the camp and also he had very early on his guru. who must have been an awful thing himself. because he taught Gay much evil. when Gay was 14 he shot his brother in the head with his fathers rifle. the boy was named Desmond, and he died. his other brother was Gordon, Gay being the eldest. Desmond was only 11 when Gay blew his brain to bits in the wilderness beyond camp. there was ructions, but his father was co, so they simply packed him off to britain, alone. he lived in southampton, and went to some sort of art school. he ran away to sea, wound up in burma, where his ppl had a plantation. at some point he went back to india, nd told me he raped and killed his ayah, and also devoured his guru. whether in spirit or flesh he never said.
then he joined the Army. war broke out and he was in burma. but wound up in the 8 Army with monty. so he was a desert rat. we still have a pic of him by his tank. but he was not an honourable soldier. he showed me a photo cut fr the mirror, some soldiers with the mummified torso of an ozzy soldier, you could see the lad had been burned. Gay told me he did it. more than once. italians and a couple of ozzies.
made them stand up to their knees in sand and let them have it with a flamethrower. he giggled as he told me this. i was 13.
then one ay his tank went over a mine. his men were killed, but he was blown clear. someone found him, and he was evacuated to south africa, where he blamed his mental breakdown on being left in the sun for days in agony of his wounds. when he recovered the war was nearly over. but he was arrested for gunrunning to the worst kind of blacks. it was then he lived with an zulu girl, and had he said a brat ot two by her. but he was very mad. in staaten prison he said they taught him even worse evil. eventually he wound up back in britain in a mental hspital. but the nurses were cruel, taking him to be hanged every day. of course it was only rough play. but i bet they paid for that since. the war was over so they let him go.

btw, he was married in burma to a woman named joe knight. 5 kids by her. but she ran away to canada and no-one ever heard fr her again.

a busy man he then married [?] or so she says one Iris. now you can look at that womans great insane owl-like eyes and see at once he's chosen a witch. and by her he got several van kassals. and by a couple of daughters a couple more, as soon as they were fertile he would molest them. the boys also. i dunno why Gay hates homosexuals so. he's not averse himself. and all these children he mucked up their spirits and terrorised until they are all terribly evil and cruel. well not all. Jean i think got murdered, her baby with her, a child named meg. i was 12 and they had sought refuge with my mum. but Gay found them. and no-one has everseen them since. also colleen rejected him. a brave girl, when she was only 10 she refused to have anything to do with him. another maybe lorraine, born last poor kid. i noticed at his funeral how she kept looking at me with hope in her eyes. even gillian may not be his, i know when i was terribly poor and in trouble she helped me. the only truly evil-evil i'm sure of are roy, who is the gate-keeper because of his perfect hate, he's the eldest son. and annette and leslie, real pig peasants with fat legs real bullies and nasties the both of them. so anyway there are 10 van kassals altogether.
anyway when my mum was 16 she met Gay. he was charming. thats true. when Gay decided to be charming or funny he really was. but always for a purpose. and i'm the only one who can make him laugh, equally true.

so mum came from a poor but honest family. her father couldn't stand Gay, and her mother my nan was very upset. because she was 16 and living with this terible man unwed. because its my belief Gay never wed any of them. how could he wed in a church? it would crash round his ears! and since Gay never signed anything how could he have a registry wedding? so i reckon all the lot of us are bastards.
anyway so she lived with him. he used to go back and forth from dagenham to hammersmith getting thses two preggers every year. i don't know the history here. if mum was 16 and i was born the eldest when she was 23 what happened to all the other kids born before? because u can bet there were. he/she had no precautions whatever. Gay not being a believer in such things. so there must have been 5 or so. its my belief that when he looked on their spirits and saw they were not me he killed them.

so i was born in 1951. and within days, because i was the one, he began to destroy me. take what was mine. and roy, who was 16 at the time, helped him do it. i also knnow my mother was ivolved too. so you see this is real evil, fr long long ago. not of this world evil like this. these aren't ordinary lefters. these are slaves of absolute evil. so if been reading my history u know he's the devil. anyway it hurts and upsets me to talk about my childhood. so we won't. but thats how he became god/the devil. i don't know if that childhood or my whole life has been repeated over and over. expect it has.
anyway i visited him a couple of times later. wish i hadn't. he did even more. bit i was older, so i remembered. anyhow he died in 1980. he did meet my husband, just in time to turnwhat was a simple honest man into a tyrant and drunk. oh well at the funeral we met his brother, our uncle Gordon. we were amazed. and so was he. he never knew about us at all you see. we all worked out fr various that Gay must have had yet another family somewhere. Anyway we all felt betrayed. this uncle Gordon was an homourable soldier. and had been a high ranking officer in berlin during 1945-1956.then he became a lawyer and wound up a QC at the old bailey. all his family [3 boys] lived in what to us was luxury. he looked like Gay, but a shy, reasonable man. he told me and showed me the stubs that every couple of months he'd let Gay have £50. for years. a huge sum in those days. but gods only know what he did with it. none of us, not the harem nor the brats saw any. we starved and froze and had nothing all that time. maybe he was a druggie? we'll never know. so that is how Gay did it. what he was. what he was like. he died of brain cancer.

you want that thing for God? of course u don't.