quick entry

just settling to sleep; heard these from spirits [within soul-house]..'i hate the faithful ones, i hate them'...this bitch must die soon....call her jesus again, lets destroy it again...then soft huge footfalls like a giant walking invisibly outside. you see? now i can hear them. and thats what i hear. its a little embarassing but i was so wildly in love i offered up my heats to the kings spirit? and got called jesus. was duly shown lots of miserably dark places i've known well long aga. gay in all of them. escaped, there were the eagles asking who are you and someone said jesus! and they screamed at me angrily; because for the first time i began hearing. all my life until that hour i have been deaf. i 'knew' what they said. but now i can hear. clearly. and its terrible. they are cruel, very evil. really bad. judgement? you can be damned for your name. for having a zip in your jeans not metal buttons. for just believing all your life that being nice makes a better world. ppl have been damned i'm quitesure because they are children. or girls. or meek boys. you know? the judgment day you lot expect in the distant future happens very often. and those are their judgments? you see the gods are quite mad; and cruel. but what can we do? now you see wwhy i get so frightened. this is not easy being alone with this stuff night after night. my only comfort is that my brent has found a way to live and even live well with all this. he can show me how, as soon as i see him i will tell him i can hear them now. i repent me i did not know evil was right. i hope he still can find me and do what he must have been trying to do all this time. as for everyone be warned. don't trust those who weren't deaf and yet never told you all this. but if gay has turned it all irrevocably into chaos then everyone who has ANY sanity must find 'crumbles' and be disappeared in it. vanish. its not death, exactly. but there is no return into this stupendous insane nest of universal hell.
save yourselves and all who will go with you. gays crumbles was on the banks by the great river oflifers. it sings you your saddest song. its there. but i think if you pray direct to the real Anat for crumbles if you get desperate [and you will] maybe it can just happen.. i hope so.

bit scary. please if anyone reads this knows what is pity please do something to help me. all i need at these times is company. and you know what? i will race you to 'crumbles'!!