carry on macduff!!

i just spent hours trying to set up wbsite with hostgator. still stuck. yesterday kez turned up with baby reece; a huge bandage on hisrt hand. a terible accident, cut his hand open to the bones. had to have an operation to remedy his tendons, poor little soul. so entire family at a&e three days. no food, no help with kids. kez there with no offer of even a toothbrush...sleeping on a mattress on the floor by his cot. and all the time 'under suspicion'...gods whats happening in england? she was shattered, worried; not a word of comfort from any so-called nurses. of course it was jay! he took the caps off the end of the bunkbed railing. baby gets in bedroom and climbs the bunkbed; no doubt he's been dying to climb up,like he sees his brothers do; and he slipped and grabbed the bare nail thing, couldn't hold and so it ripped his hand open from top to bottom. kerry nearly passed out with shock; but managed to hold the bleeding and get an ambulance. from a&e called dada to get the other two from school and then such was the pressure on them they never thought to ring me at work. anyway he's a bit weak. no food all that time, an injury, under the aenesthetic for 3 hours. she shouldn't be out with him. they didn't even get her a taxi; she called from the green. they were trying to get home by bus!!
anyway they home now.
so all his fingers okay; unless he gets a bad infection. but they did remember to give him antibiotics and it all seems very clean. and what can you do with jayjay? he's always in trouble. he simply cannot stop taking things apart. and he can't see any consequences either. all he knows is that he's being told off for something he can't remember! they keep trying to control him by loud and seeming heartless 'discipline'.....funny thing i hardly ever speak harshly to him. i let him get away with minor hi-jinks. the upshot is he is reasonably controlled here. he's happier. i gave them my kitchen wall for practising with nails etc, pictures. he's allowed a certain amount of destroying a la electrics. i buy him old radios and so on. and so he loves it here; he gets something of what he is obsessed about. but no-one sees him here with me; that he's happy.
seems to me he's got this illness. its for life. we should be trying to shape it, make it something at least safe. even useful.
anyway i won't tell him off. be sure the whole world will do all that. i might talk about it. but i will say over and over; ASK. don't just see and twist...boundaries. you can have that area. you can use these tools WHILE I'M WATCHING. when your baby bros are around BE CAREFUL. and thats all. he simply can't help it. would you tell him off as evil if he were clumsy because he was blind? its the same thing.

but my poor daughter. its well beyond her. she gets no help at all. just threats and nagging from the school/social. they get in on the show because of jay's legendary exploits. but they are all 'blamers'. once someone can be blamed they can be punished. over and over. then these goodie two shoes feel that threats, nagging, cruel goals..even taking away all her benefits and then getting nasty that she can't manage her finances....but they do it to her!! why can't they see 1. their own guilt? 2. that 24/7/365 time with all 3 kids, especially that one, is unbearable?

but none of them can see that. funny innit? none of them have kids at all. i think that nearly everyone who goes into teaching / nursing/social work are really cruel bullies....yes. when you see all i've seen you realise that what they want is power. power to hurt, to neglect. but they can make it look like they're doing 'good'. there's some not so bad. but haven't you noticed? nice ones never get promoted. in fact if they're too good they are generally quietly lost. 'got married' 'went to a new job'??? covers a lot of wickedness, that.

so next time you read how another poor little baby was tortured to death when the social knew he was in danger...now you know why. a good hearted but weak mother they nag and threaten and confuse and demand and get all histrionic. usually they intend to destroy that family from day 1. because they get away with it. there's no supervision, no protection in law. but a really dangerous family, ie the mothers a junkie, or living with a paed [ and yes, they DO KNOW]...and suddenly they don't notice. didn't have a clue. we didn't realise. of course they did. they are enjoying a little quiet murder. yes of a child. or didn't you realise thatswhy they gt those jobs in the first place ?

you see when i tell you that evil was made the right answer by gay all these evils are encouraged. you get to be high devils, safer yourself. these people in various inchoateways know this. and so it goes on. now ou know what evil really is, don't you? and you see its everything to do with murde and cruelty and hypocrisy; sod all to do with sex, witches, any other silliness.

so do you think you can let this go by? then really you want to be like them, don't you? and for your information they are nearly all religionists. christians. muslims. even jews...