last post today

i thank my friend and commander, elohim. that day in the museum he began to make me understand, grow up so i could both endure and live long enough to teach. and he has built my heaven for me. i know it will be good. and there he shall always be welcome. and if i am destroyed, well thats his, and i know he will fight on in his way. for the battle still goes on, every night i am either tested or in prayer talk to them, or do works on those out there, or plain suffer these attacks and testings. Gay said i would be tested to destruction, and so i know all this will kill me. who could live long like this? but so far depite several collapses in fear or just exhaustion i still hold.
i thank and praise both Satan and Yetzoah, who thought they must destroy me but now find they learn and i do not hate them nor disagree with them. instead i value them. because i've been a victim too, and am just as much a rebel. Satan is beautiful, a noble strong god. i've been in love with him twice. thats me. always falling inlove. a peculiar woman, really.
i wish fatherseabreeze well. he knows all about everything, and if you see wasn't he set up too? as for general cruel look at him! because of his evil all the evil hate him! not such a genius then, a? but even he can be okay again. its just a matter of will. later i will tell you what i've seen of the futures. for now i but say none of these gods, not one, is alive in any of them. so now you see they listen more carefully.
and i thank black father, who protected me for so long. we quarrelled and i ran away. but now i remember and know i still love him, and would die even though i am a devil, or was, to defend him.as i rather think i will have to do.

so this teaching i suppose is a kind of will thing, a testament? be wiser. know both good and evil for the traps they are, cease to obey Gay. once that ratbag is gone then work it out more fairly. be no more intent on this bloody stupid 'damnation' thing. since when i tell you about what happened in that awful pre-existence place, you will see ALL were damned by Gay. absolutely ALL. So its another Gay thing, used solely to cause suffering. so stop doing it. not one of you has any such right. and anyway remember karma? they shall suffer their own will.?? in any case as the oldest god around i am not yours to damn. so stop or i will kick your bum. and thats that.