letter to myself, gerry

that man had me living hunfreds of lives in thatattic. i've been saintly gods/pet of dark ones in the time. he would sort of take me out to the past/other realms and realities. later i created. he said he would have some and the rest were mine. he told then i had destroyed everyone. i did not know because then i had a difeent form and mind. as always what you remember conditionseverything. i DID make places, beings. now are these managed dream/spirit evolutions? i don't know any more. my mind is now so vast with knowledge. all i can do is ignore it. yes last night i told all i was 'the good god' sufferings, clean mind. told them [anyone] they would go to heaven, and the back to Anat. because of gay.i wanted to stop this endless suffering. in fact i've seen glimpses of a past huge. and is very advanced all spiritual stuf, but i know pointless. you can teach a ild of ten the way to be nice guy. these vast spirit developments in the past; silly. nobody loves nyone? spirits all about big minds? not love.anyway this whole thing? from first place to now? is about 1/2 way through ONE cycle? and i got glimpses of others. we all been alive going over and over it since the beginning of time. then all today my poor mind has 'risen' many other realms above the space/time thing. might be beyond my mind to able to take anymore. and now more memories of the stuff in that attic.

and i now know that the Devil is GOD and always was and always will be.

so i have to let any gerries or people/gods know how to get out of it. you see i was more or less tricked into developing in spirit long ago to God. good and stupid, or maybe a little girl hypntised with those powers. and expecting to live forever. like that. but somehow it didn't happen. so we endlessly repeat civilsations, becoming gods? i don't know. but i do know the spiritual stuff is what got me into trouble. and maybe all i 'chose' as well. be cause i see now it is all hells. so i'm writing this letter and leaving it out where some day i can find it or learn it again if i need to; and anyone else.

SOLUTIONS.

1. memory goes back too far. beyond father seabreeze, the eagles, first place. beyond, other universes, realms, realities. up and up and back and back. me and gay in ALL of them? it must stop soon.

2. Everywhere Gay and made usually as an over pretty young blonde god. [male]. also as girl, slightly different, more thickset, blonde, older. i seem to be forever dying and coming back. [from Anat], i see a huge 'buddha baby] trying to get her to come back but she just watches me, either paralysed or so hugely overdeveloped spiritually she is like perfect innocence? i am staggered. and in all of them gay walks with me? or some. and its all hells. the black cruels always winners. the good are slaves and victims unless coverted by an evil one. and in all that time i have remained white.

3. Each 'self' in a kind of c ntest a battle of wills. with gay. nd knows its rthe loser? gay is obviously god the DEVIL and secretly enjoying his terible cruelty. the other eems always pleading, talking. the girl keep trying to get out/ neither can; either they too cowardly to die or can't. now if these were happy, peaceful bright heavens with a happy loved gerry in wach i wouln't worry. nor would anyone. bu the seem awful. but well lit. why am i so worried and i over-burdened? i shouldn't be in so many places. we none of us should keep onliving like that. where is the love? so they all gays heavens are. my hells? or did some part of me bcome so stupidly good god they let gay have it all to teach him to be wise or to teach me to be wise? cos always gay points this or that out and i do it different. always end worshipping
him.

4. the eternal struggle of the good and evil. but evil always wins. i think gay was 'given his turn first' by a mistaken charity of some overdeveloed idiot back then/probably in that attic or from that buddha baby.snd gay said to me in the attic that 'the victor never gives up his victory'thats when he went back and forward got everything off the 'God' i was. but if i had not been born, if only i had had the sense to see he was evil and been told by anyone at all to just refuse! but i was alone with him. for seven years out time. millions by theirs? anyway; its the same people over and over again?

5. i may have been targeted because i always telll the truth. in spirit? but that seems a kind of autism, if i tell the truth at whatever cost.


6. The evil, formally accepted by gay or his seniors, arethe only saved. because gay is evil. but he chose his own right in the beginning i don't think there was much leeway for others. and obviously i was not one? the gods back then seeing i had destroyed all either by my presumption or stupid ideas of being god in that attic have cursed me with this? or gay himself did. or that buddha baby has confused the good and evil? i don't know.

7. we began gods. but are brutalized today. by this continual developing, loveless. the deaths. then that patrna thing. and we come out agaim a sort of super reincarnation, we none the wiser. obviously prana is evil too. all things are for the benefit of the saved, but its not us, the good.

8. and it will go on forever. its sterile pointless 'heavens' at best. filthy cruel hells. or maybe the good are secretly evil because the cleaner they think it is the worse its unkind ways, the nasty looking hells are heaven ? but only for the evil. but gay is infinitely cruel i think unless you him or his chosen thy both awfulnd hin an his chosen stay outside, they not in.all to enjoy their cruelty.

9. neither is there any escape in Anat/death. i keep coming back, but so does the others. its just more acute for me? but i don't know. so gay is DevilGodeven indeath, because i remember we went to a strange realm of odd not- light. i think i ao destroyed Anat so Gay is Devigod there too, the brightface of evil [god] looking at its reflection in the dark water? the dark waters of death?so i can't die, no escape. if i do , look at it. there are thousands of gerries! ay says the spirit is infinitely divisble. immoral, feels no pain/fear hunger, etc. he lies, he lies. we fear. where are my heavens? well he got me to give them to him? but the me's out there dont know any of this.

10. everywhere gay is god and i am with him, but he treats me as evil. so i must be in Anat also. i think once you're in Anat its a strange white in white? my memory is making me god. that stuffin the atticdestroyed me and everyone i loved from the beginning of time. we cannot escape. we can only conquer. or kill gay literally everywhere and the false rules. or destroy ourselves utterly. there are ways.
do them, or live forever in hell.

11. we are frozen in misery. the damned are the saved. at this time many of the whites are surrendered, grabbing some ease. but all will end ineverlasting flames. which since we can never match the self control and invulnerability of god long ago means it is unimaginable. the only good god around is me? i claimed it again last night!he only loves the cruel, but if you become cruel do you see even given paradise it would end the same? is not gay a monster? because i was and still am a child. these are not people/gods long ago. they are us.

POSSIBLES.

1. how do i 'uncreate' the lost. [good]. only on earth does the original apppearance of decency remain. when i 'die' what happens here?
2. how do i convert all knowledge into powers energy etc? and also convert enegy into sustenance they can eat? there must be away?
3. i contact every gerry or higher in all of it via this blog sent into cybespace. i can find a way out for all; hence this letter. all you need is the guts to do it
4. to die out be not; step one. simply REFUSE to obey him at all. see he twists everything. all his morality is lies, he dies no good thing. evil is the right answer is itslf damnable. but YOU are doing it all for him. he can't do much by himself.
2. demand your share of goodies in return gpt for your efforts. that wat you get something out of life. and each time let it be the final death of a soul as well as what you need..
3. Just SAY NO. and be aggressive back. and EAT! there's reasom why he never lets ant gerry eat, try your own blood, anything.
4. each time you DAMN [utterly] THE DAMNED. THEN THEY ARE DAMNED. it might hurt them.
5. fear them not. they can torture you. so learn to become invulnerable. it can be done. but he can't lose every gerry becase YOU are god; not him. so because very young gerries cannot learn that; kill them, quickly. and destroy their forms so they cannt be returned.
6. you can undo the base signature of your mind and if you are higher the base signatures [mind is a pattern of energy at bottom] of those lower than yourself. that is resolve the energy back into space.to do this you may need to use hypnosis.
7. get out of it as many as you can. spread this information. and then be not yourself.
8. another way is to disintegrate your mind/form. NUCLEAR EXPLOSION, epicentre. a big electromagantis pulse. or fall into a blue star. just let go of yourself.
9. only the evil, cruels etc enjoy these places. you can train yourself to be like them, to like what they like. a good strong motivator is love. if you can love one, he or she may accept you in return for sex.
10. or whatever you make make it your preference not theirs. and watch while they destroy of their own stupidity that which could make them happy. and remember to eat. it will help you. and never replace anything.
11. constantly tell gay to fuck off. ask him for nothing, not even a simple courtesy question, hate him with all your stength, be the stubborn bullock. he will either kill ot persuade or run away. his bluff called.
12. try in every way to kill him. each gay down is a massive gain, he is a coward.
13. give him by disease, injury or harm a bad pain, then increase it, each time offer him food, drink, salves, he accepts anything he must lose or die.
14. the other solution is to hypnotise him. Gain control and steadily get back your own.
15. accept that you are also evil. you may be white and nice, you may be truthful etc but you did this to yourself and everyone. yes it was not deliberate; yes its gays doing. he planned it. but until you accept it you will continue to struggle and lead others into suffering. offer yourself as an evil one to whichever one of the damned you can score. and be accepted. then learn to like filth. or dince each gerry is god;damn yourself. and try then or before to damn these the suffering. no longer shall you speak to the celestials of heaven it never was. and wouldn't be your role if it did.
16. once if it happens you find a place empty and reasonable take it. so read the word. and kill them. just as jesus did; if you think about that.
17. who is better? if you teach these people of gay etc they can save themselves, be not in hell forever. it becomes home. teach them not and its worse than murder. teach good like jesus; and its worse than murder, for if they listen they also go to hell with neither protection or even understanding. yet if the truly evil could listen to his white wisdom or your funny nature; they woulf be cured. and hell ended.
so when i as god back then created i created hell and put all the nicest people in it. am i not the Accursed? and that is why. for they will have to suffer unimagiably for all time. so i write this also to all that exists; save yourselves. right awy. and baptise even your animals to the Devil your God; whose name is Gay. its easy. do it. you can be accepted by ANY evil one.

18. so i have become god again, but i can't do much about all of that. its nearly infinite. you inderstand i'm trying. but i worked it out and here are your solutins. but if you worship gay you enslave yourself all over again.
19. so we all fucked. well there's always crumbles.
20. but i don't know. i'm smashing him where i see him, commanding him, i escorted 1 to crumbles, i know my mind is huge. but what ismy strenght and stature? unkown.
pray for me. don't know who to. they all evil. pray to God? amen