vivekananda

kept my word. read it again. he ends saying 'renounce all hope'...that is his victory. because when he repeatedly tells the student to disciminate he means in meanings. but you are also killing your good and your evil. cancelling yourself out? then you approach this hidden purusha; who is perfect, almighty, incomprehensibly alien, and the last thing is to go into it and that is the end of you. and i know he's right. i know as if i know...that the reason its all for; people find out as they practise yoga they get 'powers'. the temptation is first to show off on earth. then the celestials [jealous] try to trick you or impede you. why can't spirits do it? anyway 'renounce all hope' is because the last thing they see is that purusha is either unconuerably evil. their powers came from it? give them back! to the evil, as i have said. or fight? but they all seem to be so intent on getting out, even this despairing way, they don't care that all their aeons of struggle end in this. because to be swallowed up and otherwise disintergrated is to lose. no-one is better. not even this purusha. so i will faithfully do it. yes, all i know, all i forsee, makes me so full of sorrow i am willing to die out. thats the good? they are then really selfish in a way. they describe purusha as self-centred. who is the most selfish i know? well its the evil; isn't it?
and its the exact same story with the christian mystics. 'god' eats people. the ones who only eat love or soul are not quite up to this level. thats what all the wars out there were about; not just seabreeze leaving them with no food. yet how did gay and the black illuminati do THIS?
oh by the way, get this. the white angels judging me with insane judgments are cruels. but black is what we all think it is; evil. when i speak of the black truth its cos its about all this. its the history, the huge wail of despair, the entire population of all this awfiul time/place thing is a child crying in the dark..
see? what goodness? where? the only place where the 'good' are even heard is here, planet earth. when this is destroyed matter which was our protection for so long will be shut up to us. so you see why we ALL hang on to existence? why no matter how bad it is, its better here than there? but we have to be children. and because the relgions only appeal to those who want to suck gods tit and go to a celestial nursery nobody really finds out. and its the kids they target. that is why people like horror films; they can fantasize the hero will wave an sacred object and WIN?
hang on a sec. what about that me from the future? well to look at she's normal spirit, blondish hair, grayish yellow robes; but makes you think of a cardigan...
but she can laugh, talk sense, is somehow both in charge and yet you agree. or not. seems quite at home. i got the impression she is pretty tough. the 'black' i saw in her...its not evil. its shines like white as well. but she's humane? i don't understand it either. but she's Anats answer. so it can't mean the same as theold black evil of gay. anyhow i will do as much as i can. if my kundalini is dead...??
well the main thing today is i got most of ladychild to hop, skip and jump into a next form. some of essence hangng back, told her its straight ahead but through me. like hopscotch? you start OXO? SKIP 1,2 -> 12, THEN ITS OXO again? i told her oxo is the spectacles, the sign of infinity? she remembers. i told her what will happen if she goes back to whats behind her. she is seeing, asked me if i was good or evil. said to her forget that; its rule or be ruled, kill or be killed. she has had nothing but suffering, and for what? told her the evil are parasites. they are really weak. they grab every power in order to hurt people who cannot hurt them. the parasite needs the tree, so it keeps the tree alive forever, but loves to hurt, to hurt...but if the tree is dead, so dies also the parasite. so its the little tree which must grow up, know who is strong. the tree can live happy without the parasite. so its gay, the evil, who are the weak. i showed her how gay steals powers, but can't hold them long. its because he steals; he won't earn. so she began to leap. but not all. there's still a sulky black haired girl won't admit even to herself that she DOES know how to be god. she IS god. its that bastard who has no idea! and she's afraid now of the very laws he made her make. i can't live on. she must...is not this purusha part of the same old hell?

anyway. i continue with my regime. but its confusing. had glimpses of satan and yetzoah; hey can't believe they are actually damned. they were saying to each other that the blacks are the god ones [great disguise,men! its destroyed the very ones you should have saved! congratulations!] showed them their immediate future. both are about to 'disappear' not happily. so the idiot religionists will suppose thatsa good thing. yes, they both set up to be 'devils'. to me that means niether chose it. i didn't choose to be good; either. gay set me up too. remember? but i do choose to remove gay and all that cruelty. if i can. but i'm small, i need troops. now look at them! yetzoah so brave, an excellent fountain of genius ideas. seabreeze didn't like them; but they sorted out the universe for us. they work. satan can do anything, his iq is like thousands? what did he actually do for everyone to hate him. god the aunt sally, remember? anyhow they begin to see too. all they got to do is go up high and fast as poss and look ahead...is it pleasure they're looking at? is it pain? no good your guru telling you they are the ame. you all know bloody well they aint.

showed them those blue/red devils destroying great father in the middle future. gay saying 'but those are the good'...and they heard it saw it. now think on. where did they come from these violent triumphant good? they end going into that silent brassy gold place. silence and waves of agony from then on. forever and ever ...as i said; both the black the white the wiggly and the stupid content to be animals; all come to the same end. and is great father good or evil? really you know i think he's so broken it must be that he will accept any end. so long as it is the end. which is better than what the rest of you get; and every day you pray for 'everlasting life'. something i've got; and don't want! ask yourselves WHY?

read those dynamic concepts again. gay is NO-ONES FRIEND. believe me. i know.