my heart is broken in many pieces

last night i tried to imagine what our Queens would be like. i smiled, began to feel joy on your behalf all you sad sick beings. our Queen awake, gathering her sisters, learning in a few seconds all that has happened. i knew that day she would have come out like an angry mother, a little army of angry Queens. you know where they go light attends them. all of you left alive from great father down to the tiny worms in the ground, from top to bottom in the universe would have known she was here. joy striking every hert like lightening. she would have looked on great father and he on her. and for her He would find the power to speak. for he is intelligence; but she is Wisdom. the real thing. she, like all us women in little, is the tree of life. all you men are but additions to a template which is female, as here, so there. all the love and mercy and joy in the universe would and should radiate from her to us and back; or don't you know Anattas is Queen Wonder? you bastards. you bloody stupid bastards. i know if any of my little me's becomes a little Queen she will be crippled, all that suffering has deformed their minds. if she could get there, find that great silent mass. if she could dig with her hands these our Queens out of it. you know what that thing has done? of course you know you're a man! so superior. so intelligent. no he never lets anything die, or they would be safely in Anat. no she's inno coma or mere paralysis; or even in that state she could help. you know what that little me would find? sure you do you vile cretin! he dug out their minds from their beautiful heads. and smeared these ...to you like sparkling electrics...all over the bloody rocks, didn't he? my happy thoughts on what might have come to be for all you suffering lifers will always now be just a woman who had hopes. and nothing more. and i even know what you whispher in your tiny shrivelled useless hearts. they were only females. they don't matter. whatever do we want love and joy for? you would do just the same; for all you men he has been turning into wasps. go look in your mirror you monstrosity. and know what is shame. gay murdered them all so they can never know anything or be dead. they can't help or answer and that is why. so gay says women were without any brain he is right! he did it that way. he did worse than kill them. and they were the Female right half of the universe. not just love, joy, wisdom, wonder. but the reasons for doing or being here alive at all! they were your meaning, your reason to exist. without them how can i ever be rescued? without them, of course evil will twist every mind. because all of you are only males. without your Queen you have no real reason or anyone to show why a thing is right. so go on you sad sick man. look on yourself. a bloody abortion, aren't you? a half thing. knowing neither joy nor wisdom, but only savagery and violence. and that makes you less even than a slave. go on. look at yourself! know at last what is shame! or don't you know great fathers love was she; and without her he can never speak or find wisdom. for she was his Queen. you may go.